Calendar of Venus
by xxIcyAngelxx
Summary: He doesn't question why she was always with him in the dark, from dusk till dawn. A study of close encounters. Set during Shinobi World War. Neji/Hinata. Prequel to Canvas in White.
1. Mars

Edited February 2016. I know some parts won't exactly fit but hey, it works in a way. You don't have to read it to know this, but I urge you to check Canvas in White if you like this since the timeline takes place after this fic. If not, this can also be read as a stand alone. Is this Neji-centric? Most likely, but I can't separate Hinata whenever I write about him. So lots of Neji pining for now. Timeline in the war is messy, so the references I've used in some scenes may be out of order.

* * *

((**Mars**))

only the stars witness

/_onesided_/ ((Neji-centric))

* * *

He doesn't recognize these nins.

They were from different villages united in the alliance, but the Head of the Hyuuga did warn him to watch Hinata during these times, in case anyone took advantage. He was assigned to the Second Division, the specialty of the Hyuuga. It was no surprise that he was arranged in the same numbered unit as Hinata, a move by Hiashi that eased his worries. They were to fight in the front lines of battle.

The leader was speaking.

Neji pushed past the crowd, keeping a trained eye on her. He could tell she was anxious, how tense her shoulders were drawn, and it was only when he briefly clasped her shoulder did the frown disappear. Hinata returned his smile. "You're here," she said to him. There was a brightness in her eyes and he stood straighter. "I'm glad you're with me, Neji-niisan," she continued, suddenly animated. It had been a while since he heard her voice, of demure tones and soft intonations that always managed to captivate him.

After one last smile, they turned their attention to the front.

...

She fell to the forest floor, skin bursting on impact. Hinata rolled to her side, pressing on an open wound.

She sighted a glint of metal just beyond her. Hinata heaved, body crumpling, but willed her hand to grip it before the nerves broke down. Her chakra slowed and the kunai served a better weapon than her bare palms. She was close, so close, when something hard stomped on her hand. Hinata winced, directing her eyes up where a dead stare locked on her. A swift movement and a weapon was making its way to her throat when it was shoved to the side and Hinata jumped to her feet.

It was Neji, paralyzing the enemy nin with the strikes of his palms. He finished it with one last hit that sent the nin flying against the trees. It was only when he turned to her and shouted, "Hinata-sama!" that Hinata noticed a sharp coldness pierce her right hip and the ground suddenly rushed towards her. Darkness swam in her eyes then Neji's blurred face came into focus. "Hinata-sama," the urgency was in his voice.

She tried speaking, gurgling blood instead. Neji swiftly compressed the wound. His hands dripped with blood. Hers. "Kou will take you back to Konoha," the words escaped his mouth evenly. "Stay awake, Hinata."

He was in a rage, blood and chakra intermingling in a white fury, coursing hotly through veins. Neji was blinded to the threatening chakra signature towering over her body when he rushed to the fight. It was pulsating weakly, but it meant she was still alive. Another nin rose behind him and before Neji could indulge in killing him, Kou got to the nin first with a clean slice to the neck and discarded the body away.

Their eyes met. There was no time for more talk. Kou carried her and rapidly retreated.

Neji stood. His vision engulfed the entire area. Counted the bodies left, saw the chakra coursing with their lives. Made sure that none could escape. Then looked towards the perpetrator who was heavily coated with blood. Hinata's blood. He assumed the man was the leader.

"You will die," he said simply.

He's there whenever she regained consciousness.

Neji wordlessly handed her a cup, then brought it to her lips when her head shifted tiredly. "You will recover, Hinata-sama," he told her when the question was in her eyes. "We've eliminated the immediate threat."

She swallowed. "Are there–"

"It's under control."

She tried rising and he saw the moment when she registered pain. A hand went to her back as she heaved and coughed dryly. "Thank you," she rasped with a weak smile and he intercepted her when she tried reaching for the medicine. She looked questionably at him and Neji refilled the water. She took the glass and pills, swallowing with a pinched expression.

Neji took the wet cloth, frowning for a moment, before presenting it to her. She gingerly dabbed it on her cheeks and Hinata sighed, felt the heat in her cooling. She brought it down to her neck, fiddling with it while pushing back her hair. Hinata let her mind wandered, wondering how unkempt her appearance must be. Neji observed this, saw how she didn't mind when she gathered the mass in a bun kept by a hand. Just as she awkwardly maneuvered to move, he took it from her hand.

She looked up. He allowed a small smile. "Let me help you, Hinata-sama."

She titled her head without further question, accentuating the delicate lines of her neck and collarbone, and just below the robe messily folded over her chest. Neji ignored the surge of interest as he briskly assisted her. His eyes didn't wander, but he was glad hers were shut because even now it was difficult to summon the mask he always wore. He drew back, twisting the towel hard over a bowel.

"Is Father and Hanabi safe?"

"Yes."

She rubbed the sheets between her fingers. "What is going on now?"

"Some of the resurrected dead have fallen, though many old legends are still fighting with the Kages. There is word that Naruto and Killer B are soon entering the battlefield."

"Naruto," she uttered softly. "He's coming." Few droplets were being squeezed out now, but Neji did it again anyway. "Are you returning?" she suddenly asked from behind when he dropped the cloth when it no longer served as an outlet.

Neji looked over his shoulder. It could have meant a simple inquiry of his next move, if he had a task that needed attending to, or if he deigned to stay beside her afterwards; it could have been any of them. What he learned was that she rarely elaborated when it came to her wants and he could take her word both ways.

She was strong and he acknowledged that countless times. But from nights past, he saw the vulnerability she hid so well.

"Not yet."

...

_He found her the first time when the Akatsuki was taken down._

_He strode into the dark room, sensing an unguarded presence. His hands flexed, a flow of chakra gliding over skin._

_A closer look and it surprised him that it was Hinata. Neji stared, trying to gather himself because nothing was right. A quick look behind him. There was nothing in the immediate area he could sense. Which meant the woman in front of him could truly be Hinata. Or an imposter._

_"Hinata-sama."_

_When there was no response, he was prepared to attack. Neji stepped forward and she turned over. The sheets shifted, the slide of skin against cloth made him tense, and when her head moved, Neji glimpsed the soft look she wore in sleep. He'd never seen her like this before, much less in his bed, and he banished a recurring fantasy of the very scene in front of him. He willed the Byakugan, checked the lines of her chakra, saw the purity and slow churn of it in rest._

_Neji straightened. It was no doubt Hinata. She moved again, turning to her side. A closer look and he noticed there were uneasy lines on her face that marked her exhaustion, a complete contrast from her fierce front in the battlefield. It took him a moment to recover because it had been a while since Hinata displayed such vulnerability._

_Neji checked himself. He steeled his muscles to keep in place, wondering how to approach her. She must have known it was his room and that he would retire here in the late hours of midnight. He had seen her days ago when Konoha gathered in announcement for the Allied Shinobi Forces. He'd noticed the anxiety in her eyes when they prioritized the protection of Naruto and Killer B, but couldn't do anything to appease her. He went ahead for a quick mission, searched for her when he returned, and it was only now he finally saw her. It drew a blank to him whenever he thought of something reasonable._

_But first, Neji didn't want to wake her. Which left him in a dilemma because he was just as exhausted, though he could use the floor, Neji mused, but didn't want Hinata finding him there when she woke. She would apologize and do her best to return the favor. Favor, he scoffed. What he wanted from her was beyond what Hinata could ever offer nor something he would ever ask. Comfort had no place here and if she understood that, then Neji would gladly take the floor._

_Maybe in the morning she would explain. It was uncanny to him that she always awoke before him and Neji didn't want her touching him when he was in the depths of sleep, not when it meant his reflexes would most likely frighten her. But knowing her kind nature, she wouldn't disturb him. He gathered a spare sheet in the corner and prepared to lower himself when his foot hit something with an audible thump. He looked down in dismay and found her bag._

_Her eyes fluttered. "Neji-niisan?"_

_"Hm."_

_A few deep breathes as if to awaken herself long enough to continue saying, "I...I'm sorry for taking your bed. You must be surprised."_

_He wanted to question her more but sleepiness drowsed her voice. She tried rising and Neji let the matter go. "It's fine." She sighed deeply and for some reason, the noise affected him. It was too close, too intimate in such a setting, and Neji already lost the ability to keep up appearances. He turned to leave. "Excuse me, Hinata-sama."_

_"No," she said quickly. "We are here to just rest, Neji-niisan. You...don't have to go." Neji stilled. There was a shuffle of sheets. It drew his curiosity and Neji looked over his shoulder. The words were suddenly caught in his throat. Hinata had settled into sleep once again._

_He stood idly in the center of the room, watching her breathing slow in rhythm. In another moment, he approached closer. Neji sat down, back against the bed, and crossed his arms. He pinched his skin to feel the pain of reality, that the presence behind him was not a cruel illusion. This was an unusual request of hers, but if it calmed her that he was nearby then he wouldn't deny her. He could never be that person who comforted another, but he'd try if it was her._

_When he woke, the room was empty. The bed was rumpled, an imprint in the mattress, a testimony that he didn't dream last night. The following hours, Neji found her amongst the nins. He found his place beside her and Hinata gave him a smile. She doesn't thank him; they don't need such formalities with each other._

_He doesn't ask the second time. Nor the following nights and beyond._

* * *

Neji dropped to a crouch, swung to a low branch and settled against the bark of a tree.

It's chaos just beyond the forest and cliffs, where muddled suspicion and fights broke out between the alliances. They've already lost nins when the copies multiplied. The Byakugan had no use, not when the copies perfectly replicated a human being down to its chakra lines. Kiba was forced on the defense, shouting, "It's me! I'm the real Kiba Inuzuka!"

A larger nin put his weight on the weapon, hysterically demanding, "Show me proof!"

He would most likely fare well so Neji looked elsewhere. A battle shout to his left and Neji raised his arms, deflecting a powerful blow. He absently resolved it quickly, almost agitatedly scanning the area. Hinata was nowhere in sight. He struck down another aiming for Shino Aburame. He ignored the quiet grunt of thanks, frustrating building up.

His priority reinstated, Neji turned and fled to another battlefield. Mixtures of skins, size, and hair were all out of place below him, none that mattered and Neji searched for the feminine figure of Hinata among them. There were too many disturbances. He was kicking away another nuisance when a cry, sounding extremely familiar, sounded out and in his vision, there was a sharp flicker of long, dark navy hair whipping violently towards the forest floor.

"Hinata-sama!"

His body moved unthinkingly, but another group of copies nearly piled on him and Neji released a barrage of hits, impatiently pushing past them soon as they dropped. He touched the ground, eyeing the area. He investigated with the Byakugan and only found motionless bodies. Neji frowned. If this was an attempt to herd unsuspecting nins alone then he certainly fell for it. But he had no tolerance for petty tactics and he was keen on ripping apart the perpetrator.

_Where is she?_

His time wasted, Neji jumped to higher ground. A chakra signature caught his attention by a tree and he reached for a kunai when it emerged from the roots. Not worth his attention and a quick flick of his wrist stopped the life. Opponent or ally, it didn't concern him any longer. He decided to return to the battlefield by the cliff side. Perhaps he should have consulted Kiba beforehand when they were attacked. His clan's skill had saved him from the uneasiness of finding wherever Hinata was after a hard fight.

A crash drew his attention and there was she was, crouched, panting. Her back was to him but it was unmistakably her.

"Hinata-sama!"

She whipped around and his veins ran cold. "Neji-niisan!"

He disappeared into the forest. She caught up to him, calling for him as Neji made a pathway through another group battle. The pounding in his ears was too loud and it matched the soft spoken calls that struck at the core of him. He could let another nin dispose of her, it, but Neji wasn't sure if he could handle the sight of Hinata being cut down, fake or not, because the image would always stay with him. When another charged for her, he turned back and deflected the attack. He retaliated with a punishing blow, ally or not, because he could not forgive any offense against her.

Neji cursed. The rise of the nin's chest said that she was still alive. Hinata, _it_, landed next to him and Neji grabbed the body around the waist, trapping its arms, and took off farther away from view. She, _it_, struggled, and Neji grimaced, knowing the inevitable. Someone might've called out to them, seen them, but he ignored it and hastened his pace. He found an area where bodies littered the ground, none alive, and Neji shoved the copy away.

"What's wrong?" it questioned so softly, the undertones matching perfectly to its original.

He assumed a stance.

The replica charged for him. It did not retain her usual fluidity in battle, but somewhere deep, it imitated the vulnerability of a young Hinata, and it angered him because the Hinata he served now would never display such helplessness. But it was difficult to end it with the face it wore. A hit on its shoulder and back, and it fell to its knees. Something in him dropped at the sight of her head bowed and kneeling before him. It disappeared the moment it lunged back up at him. A sudden thought occurred to him. Neji immobilized it to the ground and frowned.

The true Hinata was out there, defending herself from the panic. There was only one choice. He was forced to kill the replica copy of her, the sweetness and grace exactness beneath that false face sickened him when the blade sunk into its flesh. It transformed to its original, but it only eased the discomfort by a margin. The betrayal and bleakness in its copy eyes was all too real, reminding him of their younger years when Hinata feared him.

Neji stood. He was close to killing her before. In the distant memory of the Chuunin exams, he remembered how crazed he was to eliminate her before the battle was stopped. Something moist stained his palm and Neji glanced down, seeing blood. He loosened his grip, put away the kunai, and took off. There were enough enemy nins for him to dispose on the way, to release the clouded irrationality clawing at him.

He pushed it back, perplexed at the lingering guilt and resolved that, years past, he had many things to amend. She no longer looked at him with fear and doubt, but it remained; he was not in her sight as was Naruto, no matter how hard he worked to bridge it. If the gods forgave him for the slight against her, he'd do everything in his power to fulfill her wishes. And whatever power watched from their place, already knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for her.

"Neji!" he suddenly heard Kiba roar. "Hinata! Hinata is in danger!"

The numbness disappeared and Neji rushed back into the battlefield.

When they regrouped the following hours, he avoided Hinata's questioning stare and had nothing to say.

...

Neji woke to the frantic sound of her breathing.

The dark didn't cloud his eyes but he couldn't bear to look. He put Hinata's needs foremost, but in the night where no one thought twice of them, it was difficult to suppress the illusions of what she wanted from him. This would be among the number of times where Hinata unknowingly sought his comfort. She chose him. Not anyone else. It carried too many meanings and Neji locked the thoughts away. It should have been enough for him that Hinata trusted him deeply.

He shifted to his side, the cloth barely providing a barrier to the grass. They camped out often this year. Unit members were spread within the location and no one looked twice to see the Hyuuga pair settle beside each other. Neji initially volunteered for watch duty, but it only took Hinata to glance at him in worry to regret the words. Another nin, most likely from Kumogakure, took his place.

A slim leg brushed against him. Neji tensed. Her breathing was uneven, in hard bursts, and when he dared to look, her brows were drawn down, and there was something about her distress that made Neji sit up. It was clear Hinata was having a nightmare and he was no stranger to it. Waking her up made him hesitate; Neji saw the dark circles under her eyes and how she slowed in battle today. And if Hinata were to question why, he was baffled to explain how her suffering in sleep alerted him. Hinata must have known how attentive he was to her, though the extent of how far he would go, she was kept in naivety.

He drew the blanket up but Hinata struggled.

He stared down sorrowfully at her, knowing she found no peace. Her palm flexed, clenched, limped, then twitched, and her head shifted. Neji thought about it some more when her body jerked. The next option made him rueful, because Neji didn't imagine this would be how it happened, but he reached for her hand in a firm grasp anyway. Neji wanted to look away, not out of embarrassment, it might have been shame because he was touching her without consent, but he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the feel of her palm.

He grimaced. He was losing his mind, Neji concluded, to even take pleasure in a simple gesture without her conscious.

It was a method he used long, long ago when they napped together and young Hinata was very aware that their fingers were intertwined. Neji cleared his head, thinking of tomorrow. But Hinata was still agitated so he absently rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand, wondering if he would get enough rest. The unit was to scout and engage in any enemies near the base, and it gave him a reprieve to unleash tension of all kinds. He hadn't notice the flutter of her eyes open, and it was only when Hinata shifted on her arms to lift her head did he realize.

There was a hazy look in her eyes, and a long strand fell over her bangs that made Neji pause and appreciate the rare sight of her awaking. She called his name huskily and Neji replied in kind. "Hinata-sama."

"You're...still awake?" He grunted. Her head was nodding back down. "What time is it?"

It wasn't the type of things he paid attention to. "It's not yet daybreak."

Hinata blinked drowsily. Neji would have pulled his hand away, but it seemed Hinata had yet to notice, and if he did it now, she would definitely notice. So he waited, but it wasn't that long until she hummed something before her head fell back to the makeshift pillow, and when Neji was sure she was asleep, he drew back his hand. It was still warm from her touch. Hers were soft unlike his calloused hands, smaller than his palms.

He looked back down. Her nails were trimmed, just like his, but Neji remembered the time when they were just a bit longer and shapely. It looked fitting on her when she wasn't away from missions and it was strangely appealing to him. Hinata always did bring her hand to her mouth in thought, drawing his attention.

It occurred to him why he spent so much time thinking about it now. It wasn't often he held her hand during training; it was always the briefest clasp of hands to hoist her up after knocking her down. Sometimes he'd only stand above her, waiting as Hinata caught her breath after a hard session. "Stand, Hinata-sama," he'd tell her.

"I will, Neji-niisan," she'd panted, needing a moment. It didn't bother him that Hinata never expected his help. As much as Neji wished to care for her like a lover, his sole priority and purpose was to help Hinata strengthen her abilities. Though the first time he did offer a hand, because he had applied too much strength and something in her body had dislocated, surprise was written in her eyes before it gave way to gratitude.

"Let us end for today, Hinata-sama."

"But I can still fight."

Neji had pushed a hand on her shoulder and she'd gasped. "Come, Hinata-sama. I will treat you."

A slithering movement caught his eye beyond the tree lines. A nin from afar woke, from the way her chakra lines suddenly surged in response. Another teammate sensed the same, rising to higher branches. Neji waited, ready to engage. A few of them were still deep in sleep to notice, though the nin assigned to watch duty was rapidly moving towards the invader. The world returned in dim colors and Neji concluded the matter was dealt with.

Neji returned his attention back to her. A small movement of his hand resting by her face and he'd be able to brush away the strands falling over her shoulder, but Neji restrained himself from doing so. It didn't help that he waited a little longer to see if she still had nightmares, but when there was no more noise from her, Neji surrendered to sleep.

* * *

When they'd enter the medical tent, Hinata had ushered him straight into the recovery unit.

Neji doesn't practice modesty when he's shrugging off his uniform while she's standing nearby, nor does Hinata give him privacy when he pulled on a spare robe. There was another scar by his abdomen, Hinata noticed. It must have been the explosion that blasted them against the trees; Neji had caught her in the air, grabbing her to him before they slammed farther into the forest. His movements were swift, hiding away everything else before she could notice.

Hinata approached him.

He didn't flinch when his skin burned at the alcohol she applied by his shoulder. She was still dressed in gear, a smudge of dirt and blood coating her cheek. His hand rose without thought and swiped at it, momentarily forgetting his place. Hinata briefly met his eyes with a smile. Neji thought this routine was strangely consoling after a hard battle. How many times they had visited here, the medic-nins would only take one look at Hinata and the injured Neji and allow them through unassisted.

Hinata feared his death, but most especially Naruto's. Perhaps it was why she attended to his injuries, even when she was busy with other patients when he'd arrive, more bruised than she'd last seen of him, and make her way to him soon after with a worried frown. It never failed to surprise him that she was by his bedside when he awoke from recovery.

He shifted his arm so Hinata could easily wrap the bandages and turned his face away when her long strands brushed against his cheeks. She was unusually quiet and Neji questioned if he had enough lucidity to begin conversation. His head had slammed hard enough to knock him out before a delayed recovery. He tried focusing his gaze somewhere long enough to ask, "Are you hurt, Hinata-sama?"

She shook her head. He knew because he felt the mass of her hair fleetingly tangle with his. He couldn't lean back, not that he wanted to, because if Hinata was comfortable with this familiarity, then Neji considered it a victory. He pondered on whether she knew about their nights, when she would occasionally seek his warmth, and thought it was ridiculous to question it because surely, Hinata had to be aware. Nothing was said in the morning and Neji contented with the thought that it didn't bother her. She fiddled with the bandages and because her voice was so soft, he only managed to hear, "The war... it's been going on for so long."

He fixed his gaze on the walls. "Yes."

"We have lost so many people already," she murmured.

"The dead have aided us. We will ensure victory for them." Hinata turned so he couldn't see, but he already knew what was reflected in her eyes. He observed her in the silence. There wasn't a moment when he thought she'd break down. He had seen the gradual change in her through the seasons. It was a mask she perfected. But he also had seen her shed the walls and watch the emotions play in her eyes and wondered why he was chosen to see it.

Her shoulders didn't shake, her back was straight, and though her head was bowed, he knew tears wouldn't fall. "I will protect you, Hinata-sama."

It was a while before Hinata looked his way and the solemn look in her eyes sent a surge of resolve in him. "I will protect you too. Please, don't die." He couldn't make that promise, but Neji discarded that possibility all those months ago. He was at her disposal, but he wouldn't be careless. "I...I want to protect Naruto too. I want him to live."

The next words shouldn't have hurt his tongue. "Naruto will live. He will definitely succeed," he said, gripping the bed handles. "We will not be destroyed." It was supposed to comfort her, but it only made her anxious. He didn't think frustration, whether it was her blindness towards him or her distress making him ache, would build to point that he actually said, "Believe in me, Hinata."

Neji eased his hold. Usually those words belonged in the field, where adrenaline coursed through his veins, a possible final say before death could take either of them, where the last sight of her might prompt him to unveil everything. It wasn't his place to take Naruto's words, but it rightly belonged to him as well.

She thoughtfully stared at him, a measure of attentiveness that made him suddenly alert. The words of apology wouldn't be at his lips for the address he used. Hinata was considering him and Neji cautiously weighed his next words. But he found he had nothing else to say. It was her choice to change the way she viewed the world now.

"I do."

* * *

It was during the early evening, when the Hyuuga pair rested from patrolling, that Neji was presented with a dilemma.

"I-I want to bathe," Hinata told him honestly, her eyes not quite meeting his and a pretty flush on her cheeks.

He refrained from blinking. "Go ahead, Hinata-sama," he replied, a strange feeling rising in him. "I will wait for you here." And Neji turned away, busying himself by throwing another stick into the small fire. As soon as she returned and finished their meal, it would be doused from being sighted in the dark. Now he had to plan for the desired route back to camp. The last patrol team had encountered enemy forces and Neji was assigned to discover other possible pathways.

He willed the Byakugan.

"Uhm."

Neji froze.

The next words from her lips nearly ruined him. "Will you stay close by?"

Neji found himself leaning against a tree, near the shoreline. It was not purely coincidental a small lake was nearby; they'd purposely followed a water source. It washed off the blood cleanly.

"I will be quick," she assured him.

He credited himself with immense discipline. The mere sounds of clothing sliding off her body didn't faze him nor did the hurried footfalls rushing into water, and the gasps from her mouth as the coldness lapped at her did not overwhelm his senses.

"N-Neji-niisan," she nearly chattered. Hinata knew he was there and so maintained his silence. If she truly expected discussions between them, Neji wasn't confident that he could maintain a civil front. "C-Can you please...pass me a kunai?"

His hand surprisingly remained steady as he reached for one, tossing it lowly in her general direction. He didn't want to know what she was going to do with it and the thought confirmed how muddled his perception was. A slide of leather and a resounding click, then the slide of water rising and falling as she gathered it in her palms. So she did keep a holster on her person at all times.

He shifted uncomfortably. While their arrangement largely remained unchanged, though on a more intimate term, these past few months tested his resolve. He never expected how physically needy Hinata could be, how she sought comfort, Neji corrected because that thought was a blasphemy to her fears. She doesn't consider it a weakness because of his silence and Hinata didn't need to know he welcomed it. To him, it was the greatest gift he could ever hope to receive from her, more than wishful thinking of wanting a piece of her love. When Hinata loved, it was deep and lasting, and damn it all to hell, Naruto deserved it for the years he was absent and cruel. He forever changed Hinata and Neji grudgingly owed it to him.

He was a fool to think he expected something more of her if the war ever ended. He could only wait until Hinata realized it. No, he wryly thought, if he ever said anything more. Her attention was divided, but her affection centered only on Naruto. If he came out with the words, would she still turn to him in the night, would she look for him in the mass of people, would she still look straight at him and say, _Stay with me, Neji-niisan?_

He didn't want to imagine it. There was a sudden small gasp of delight, something he rarely heard it for the past few months, and Neji eased back. Any small pleasure she found made all that he endured worthwhile.

While he waited, he activated the Byakugan. A signature of chakra was left far down and his guard instantly went up. He followed the trail, saw it vanish upstream, possibly meaning that the nin met an abrupt end. He debated if he should pursue it. There was nothing in their immediate area nor miles around and he was reluctant to leave Hinata.

He made the mistake of sweeping his gaze and jolted at a full-body chakra signature heading towards him, belatedly realizing it was Hinata when the Byakugan faded and focused his eyes forward. He straightened at the sound of heavy water falling, droplets rapidly hitting the ground. "I'm finished," she announced. When her steps neared, Neji closed his eyes. He glimpsed the general outline of her body, though in his mind's eye, he could easily fill out most of the blanks. He had seen her stripped down when he treated her injuries. It was a sight not easily forgotten. He repressed the image instantly when she called for him. "Neji-niisan?" Hinata asked when he remained unmoving.

"Yes." It almost sounded strangled, but he wouldn't clear his throat. She appeared beside him in the standard uniform, but neglected to put the vest on yet. He wordlessly nodded and stepped to move back to camp.

"Why don't you take this chance, too?"

He had to force the words out. "What do you mean?"

"To bathe." He thought about it, not daring to face her. A problem had manifested itself from below. Neji looked to the water. If it's cold enough, it may do. "I can stay to look out for you," she offered.

Neji immediately responded, "No, that's unnecessary, Hinata-sama."

He expected a quick retort and was apprehensive when Hinata quieted, because usually she'd never agree for an arrangement where he was left vulnerable. Her footfalls signaled that she had taken position somewhere nearby. "I'll be here," she said lightly and it was said in a way that Neji could not reject her.

He supposed this was one of the few chances, though it was the least of his concerns. Dirt, sweat, and blood were a common stench that it no longer bothered anyone nor was it noticed. Bathing was a luxury they couldn't afford. He was thankful for the dark and used the tree as a barrier to strip, ignored his body, and evened his steps to the water. The cold immediately shocked him. He waded in deeper. He made quick work, washing and scrubbing, successfully resolving two problems of the night.

He was done buttoning his pants and in the midst of pulling on the top when he heard the weight of bodies being hefted, Hinata grunting, then a clash of metal ringing out. He abandoned his task, swiftly pursuing the invader, activating the Byakugan and saw two forms caught in a struggle. Hinata easily knocked out her opponent off his feet and Neji slowed. He landed just in time to see the assassin collapse, red coloring the back of its torso. A sudden deadlock gripped his neck from behind and Neji raised his hands to resist, bending forward to throw the body forward. He ended the life with a quick twist of his wrist.

He straightened. Hinata wearily scanned the surrounding area, veins bulging from the corner of her eyes. Neji pushed back his hair, irritation lining his brow. "We can't stay here, Hinata-sama."

Her eyes returned to its canvas white. She nodded grimly. "I will gather our supplies."

"I'll go with you," he said, stepping over the body.

She flicked a glance at him and away. "No, that's fine. You should return and finish up."

His brows furrowed, never halting. "Hinata-sama–"

"Go ahead, Neji-niisan."

He stubbornly ignored the order, saw how she jumped when he approached, and cut her off just when she was saying his name again, "Be still, Hinata-sama." There was an unusual coloring by her temple. He gripped her face, frowning. "You were hit."

"It will fade soon," she assured him, trying to pull away and his hands fell. He didn't know what to do with the sudden rage in him, the heightened sense of familiarity and rejection creeping in once again as she moved away, all joined in one mess. It was the adrenaline, Neji reasoned. "I'll wait here," she told him, eyes darting elsewhere.

He angled his vision, saw the pretty flush staining her cheeks, and wondered why. It couldn't have been the fight; it was dealt with swiftly and he started to question if she caught a cold, but she exhibited no symptoms. She refused to look at him and it prickled at him. He waited, Hinata resolutely maintaining the silence, and was about to question her again when a breeze cooled his skin. Neji looked down and understood. He had the sudden urge to grasp her face again and see the redness of her face. Something in him shifted because it was never directed to him.

"Yes, Hinata-sama," he said slowly, walking over to reach for the fallen uniform in his haste. "Forgive me."

She took a deep breath. "No, it couldn't be helped. I...I'm sorry for–"

Neji waited, amused. She didn't continue after a moment and there was a shuffle of grass being crushed. He dressed nearby, pulled his arms through the sleeves and shrugged on the vest. There might have been the smallest smile on his lips.

When he returned, Hinata was prepared to leave. They decided to move a few miles down before setting another campsite. He was coming back from refilling their canteens when he saw Hinata settling in. It took him a moment to decide whether to join beside her or take his place from across. Neji doesn't anticipate her nightly needs when she's awake and alert. He trained himself to not be affected by her unpredictability if she didn't want his closeness, though it had yet to happen. If she was bewildered at his placid response each time, then she doesn't know how dazed he was when he'd wake in the middle of the night with her warmth. Sometimes he'd opened his eyes, forget his surroundings, and see her face in near proximity. He often wondered if it was the same sight she saw when she woke.

He decided to measure her patience by checking his supplies and map, taking note of Hinata's wandering eyes locked on him. He briefly used the Byakugan once again and concluded they were safe for now. He concentrated on the map. A successful patrol. In the corner of his eye, Hinata nearly drowsed. "You seem pleased," she said in a sigh.

His mask was slipping. "It was a good day," he allowed. "A beneficial report."

She hummed in reply.

He adjusted the strength of the fire. A while later, he conjured a bird from Sai's scrolls and sent it away with a small note. Neji had no pity for whoever intercepted the note before its destination. The man known as Sai was ruthless. His suspicions had not amounted to anything as of yet, but he refused to allow him near Hinata. It nearly ruined his mood and Neji absently thought of tomorrow. He was about to flip through another report when Hinata spoke.

"Rest, Neji-niisan," she said softly in the glow of the fire. He met her eyes over the scroll. She never tried to look beautiful, not like Sakura Haruno or Ino Yamanaka. She just was and Neji lamented at her loveliness. His gaze lingered, Hinata meeting his evenly though her eyes were fluttering. Neji set down the materials. He doused their light, adjusting to the darkness easily and navigated his way to her.

She shifted on her side to face him. So she did expect something of him.

He sat on the ground nearby. Eventually she curled towards him in sleep and Neji closed his eyes.

* * *

Sometime in the second year of the war, his vision flickered.

It was becoming worrisome because it was his main source of strength, and Neji sought medical attention when he wasn't on the field. The clansmen looked to him in the battle and if he were to fall because of this, the commanding line would be in disarray. So when he was given leave after a brief discussion with the Head, Neji discretely sought medics.

A doctor and nurse from Konoha, Neji presumed, attended to him. He initially searched for Hinata and was informed that she was dispatched earlier for a scouting assignment. Neji pushed back the disappointment. It had been a few weeks since they'd last met as Hinata was briefly assigned back to the medical unit. It soothed him substantially that she was safer here though it kept him alone in the dark.

It was a good thing, Neji thought after sometime. He didn't want to add to her list of worries.

With each passing news of Naruto's progress and every stacking obstacle from the elder Uchiha, the dim in her eyes returned. She slept deeply each night and he diligently kept watch of her each time before succumbing to exhaustion. It was getting difficult summoning the brightness in her. His words for Naruto's absence had no weight compared to her faith in him. "We will live," he'd say and she'd hold onto him for too short moments. "Naruto will return," he'd murmur to her and she'd respond with a smile. "I fight to protect you," he never voiced when she'd turned to him in sleep. "You are important to me," he thought when her fingers latched onto the edge of his uniform in the midnight hours.

Heavy footsteps approached and Neji banished the memories. He went through the basic examination without a word until the doctor said, "Please remove your forehead protector." It was quiet and Neji challengingly stretched the silence. The man cleared his throat. "You aren't the first Hyuuga to come here." Another beat of silence and Neji reluctantly stripped off the band around his forehead, stilling when the doctor attempted to touch the seal.

Another look from the male Hyuuga and the medic elaborated, "It always has to do with your bloodline. The Byakugan."

His jaw worked. Neji disliked close inspections. If only Hinata was here. He'd do it in a heartbeat, but he was selfless enough to not add to her burdens. They waited in silence until the nurse moved forward. Neji flicked a glance at her and she froze in place. "You aren't our only patient," she said coolly. "If you won't cooperate, I will ask you to leave." He didn't really like looking in her eyes but to break it would mean his defeat. Another thought of Hinata and Neji abandoned his pride for the moment.

He only relented because extending his stay any further in the medical unit maddened him. When his eyes shut, the doctor took it as a cue for acceptance. The skin was warm to touch, foreign chakra lines rooted in a web around the seal, always different in its intricacy. It was doormat for now and the medic looked further past to the see the Hyuuga's blood heritage. "How often have you used the Byakugan for the past few months?" he asked.

"More than I usually require."

"Have you felt fatigue while you're fighting? A sudden depletion of chakra? Are you having trouble differentiating colors?"

Neji nodded once.

The doctor furrowed his brows, deciding which confirmation it was for. It was no use asking again from the steady white gaze watching him. He sighed and moved closer. A few more tests and probes that tested Neji's tolerance, and the medic declared, "It will do no permanent damage." But he was warned that he would be temporarily blinded at this rate. "Stay the night," he ordered, ready to attend to another patient. "Don't use it too often as much as possible. I can't predict when you'll lose your sight."

He took it in with cold silence. Neji stared at the band in his hands. He had to tell Hinata eventually. His fists clenched. Hinata trusted him deeply and to assign another to protect her, he'd betray the promise to the clan Head. Neji cursed. A movement near him and Neji found the female medic-nin still present. He swiftly hid the seal with the forehead protector and stood to leave. "Neji Hyuuga," she said, blocking the door. "Doctor's orders. You aren't to leave. Or I will have to inform your squad leader of your condition."

Neji disliked dealing with such people who resorted to petty threats. He could snap her neck in an instant. The thought came suddenly and Neji grimaced, felt the violence in him surge. The war was becoming a drug and only Hinata could rid the destructiveness it did to him. But he couldn't risk seeing her, not this soon. He had to make do tonight. Without another word, Neji made his way back to the bed. She must've felt triumphant and it irritated him, so he yanked the curtain around his area.

Night came and Neji opened his eyes to the sound of footfalls.

The female medic-nin came to him late at night.

"For medication," she told him. "Since you will be released soon, we need our nins in full health."

Neji ignored the lie. She gathered the tray, arranging the supposed medicine and went to the end of the bed. He didn't bother glancing at it when she offered it to him. She set it down and they stared. The woman was inviting in the quietness and it didn't matter that they were using each other. He watched as she rounded the corner of the stretcher, hand reaching to his leg. Her touch lingered, alerting him. Neji sharply looked to her, fingers curling.

She slowly pulled away. His brows were drawn down, the very impression of a man warily measuring her, and it was clear to the nin that this Hyuuga didn't like her advances so far. She waited. She saw the tension in him this afternoon, how easily he snapped. "I can help," she said softly.

Neji guardedly watched the nin. She could take his life this night and to use the Byakugan was foolhardy from the medic's inspection. Not that he needed to resort to it. But he was making excuses and Neji knew it. He damned himself, the woman in front of him needed something from him and he actually considered it. She wasn't his first choice for a bedmate, others who had offered before were more appealing, but he was too wound up the last few months to deny yet another invitation for sex.

Maybe he was a little lonely without Hinata, because Neji couldn't lie about it anymore, maybe the war grounded the nerves in his body too often and he needed another release other than bloodshed. Maybe he needed a different kind of attention. It ran through his head simultaneously and he picked out one standing thought.

He could be selfish tonight.

And it would not affect Hinata, nor would she know or care for what he did privately. It stung, it was the truth, and it would only hurt him. Neji couldn't remember the last time he indulged in his wants. He was too much of a bastard to use Hinata's needs as an excuse for his actions when the day ended. He could put everything behind him when the sun rose, done and dusted, feeling maybe better or worse, he wouldn't know.

Neji didn't stop her when her knees dug into the mattress beside him nor did he look away when she inched down her uniform. The thought of Hinata doing the same came to mind, and Neji distantly wondered if he would ever see the sight. Her skin didn't look as soft Hinata's, the dulcet tones from her mouth were too throaty, and this woman's scent didn't make his blood quicken as she neared. But the way she looked at him reflected his needs.

It was a different need that Neji was certain Hinata was not yet aware of. There was a lingering thought that he would be the man Hinata would look to when she discovered passion. But Hinata needed him in more ways than one, more than she would ever ask of Naruto, because he was the only one who would listen to her without judgment, who'd take the burden for her because she was too kind to ask anyone else, because she trusted him equally.

"Don't."

The medic-nin paused.

Neji diligently attended to her the past few years, her training, her protection, the bond she always wanted in the clan that was absent from her father and sister. Kiba and Shino were her ties to friendship and Neji wondered where he stood between familial ties and companionship, because he knew it was nearly impossible for Hinata to consider him as a potential lover.

"One night," she whispered to him. "It means nothing."

He was tempted. One night to relieve the built up tension, one night to forget the horrors of war, one night to find himself, one night to forget the hurt that shouldn't have existed.

The medic could see the hesitation in him and near his lips, she said. "Pretend whoever you wish me to be." It was suddenly clear to him. This woman had short curls, whether naturally or in disarray, Neji didn't particularly care. She was clearly confident in her appeal and Neji had to begrudgingly agree, but to him, it was a different kind of pull. He could pass a glance and think her pretty, but forget her the second he looked away.

But nothing would ever compare to the beauty of Hinata's simplicity and grace. Silvery white eyes, exact as his, but there was gentleness in hers that made him think twice each time their eyes met. Hinata never noticed and Neji was torn with frustration. She only saw Naruto and Neji concentrated on that, because everyone relied on him to end the war.

But he would only ever look at her, desire her, love her. Neji was already certain no other women could seduce him. He sent her away and dreamed of a kind smile that always soothed him.

...

She was worried for him.

"Let me see," Hinata insisted.

Neji dismissed it, sharply maneuvering away from her reaching hands. "The medics have informed me it will do no permanent damage, Hinata-sama."

"How soon will it happen?"

"As long as I use the Byakugan sparingly, I am still able to fight."

She bit her lip. Her eyes were filled with too much worry; it made him want to take her in his arms. Neji concentrated on an area beyond her. "I'm glad," she said. But at the corner of his eye, she frowned. "But we don't know when the war will end and if you suddenly lose sight in battle, then..."

"I will not die so easily."

It didn't reassure her and the next question stunned him to silence. "Why haven't you told me sooner?"

It took him a moment to answer. Because he didn't want her to worry, as she did now, because he didn't think she needed to care, not when her life was more important, but if the words left his mouth, Neji was certain it would only hurt her. "I apologize, Hinata-sama," he said instead.

When he didn't say anymore, Hinata moved to his line of sight. He couldn't look away; Hinata rarely showed her displeasure, but the downturn of her lips said enough. "I care for you too, Neji-niisan. Please tell me if something is wrong," she told him softly. "It is also my responsibility to protect you."

"Of course, Hinata-sama."

She smiled and it pulled him in deeper, her allure. "I wasn't able to attend to you then. But since you were examined, I feel better knowing you will recover." When he suddenly looked away, Hinata remembered Neji didn't like showing any weaknesses. "I'm glad you had a chance to rest that night."

Neji abruptly looked to her. "How did you know?"

"When I returned, I saw your name written in the logs," she replied with questioning eyes.

"I see."

There was a curious silence settling over and Hinata didn't know how to break it. "Let's return, Neji-niisan?"

His jaw locked. "Yes."

"Please don't be reckless," she suddenly said when they began walking back. "As much as possible, don't overexert yourself."

"Only when needed."

There was a tug on his vest. "But Neji –"

He cut her off. "I've taken precautions, Hinata-sama." He never liked the title to his name, not when he betrayed her trust every time she said it. It was strange to him, how they'd revert back to the addresses in their name, and he always went along with it since it made her feel comfortable, a string to the normalcy of life without war. But he was always the first to break it and Hinata would follow suit until only they weren't in battle. She most likely hadn't realized it yet and Neji wouldn't bother informing her.

"If you say so," Hinata said reluctantly, glancing at him. "I worry for you."

He ignored the tightness in his chest. "I will keep that in mind, Hinata-sama."

That night, he was too deep in slumber to notice that her grip held onto him tighter.

...

"I'll protect you, too."

She knew. She knew it was him.

"What are you talking about?" What a fool he was, to think he'd hidden his intentions that day, but Naruto had to babble it to her.

"That time..." When she was blind because of him, when she couldn't see the fireworks in time, when he ventured to that valley to fulfill that wish of hers, she knew. To the extent, he didn't know but as Hinata continued, it was made clear she knew all those moments when he was by her.

"Is someone there?" she had asked. He sat across from her, the table a barrier, his eyes shut, because the sight of her made him feel oddly crushed. When he averted the obstacles in her pathway, the Main House members gave them pitiful looks yet didn't interfere. They would gladly let Hinata stumble and fall as her hands felt the walls of the hallway to reach her room. But he wouldn't allow her dignity to be mocked, not when she already suffered at the vulnerability of being blind.

But it didn't matter to her. He had overheard it. Hinata sought happiness far out of her reach. Naruto and fireworks. He could fulfill the latter if it meant she'd be able to raise her head proudly again. But he failed. So he followed her out in the hallway when the sun set, sat behind the opened slides and refused to see the fireworks. When Hinata recovered, she had asked for his guidance and he had said, "Yes."

"Until your eyes recover, I will protect you. Like you always have."

It took his attention, watching as she recalled those memories with a strength matching his. If she discovered his intent back then, then it wouldn't be long until she knew the depth of his passion for the years after. He decided to keep quiet; maybe she wasn't even expecting a reply, because all he could do was cover her blind spots.

Neji killed another copy when it attempted to attack her from behind. "I understand."

"Well, then, Neji-niisan. Let's do our best." She didn't rely on the Byakugan and Hinata held her own as she fought the copies.

"Yes, Hinata-sama. Show me," he gritted. "How much you have progressed since then."

They were equals here in the battlefield.

When the copies were eliminated, Neji was stunned when she touched the skin below his eye. "Hinata-sama?"

"You promised not to use it too often."

"I did."

"Be careful," she said, drawing her hand back. "You always preferred to fight alone. What will happen when something goes wrong?"

He flicked her a cool glance. "Then you will protect me."

Her eyes were wide with wonder before a smile tugged at her lips. "I will." But the frown returned. "But I won't always be there–"

"Trust me, Hinata-sama," Neji asked, voicing one of his wishes. It astonished her but she rewarded him with a smile. He rarely asked anything of her. It was clear to him that she wanted to say more but relented, and the moment she nodded ended the discussion. He walked past her. "Come, Hinata-sama. We need to regroup." When they were given orders, he focused on her words. They would separate for some days, but Neji knew he would see her during the night when they reunited. A fleeting touch of his wrist made him turn to her reassuringly. The Byakugan was in her eyes, so alert and hardened with vigilance. He didn't need to worry. Hinata was strong, but he still said, "Be careful, Hinata-sama."

"You as well," she bade him before leaving. It surprised him. Neji quickly masked it and turned away.

It was one of those unexpected moments when Hinata unknowingly stole his heart each time and Neji never knew how to prepare for it.

* * *

He didn't know where she was.

Neji knew the forbidding premonition when they were separated into smaller teams would come to light. He tensed when her name wasn't joined with his and from how her eyes widened, it took Hinata back too. She was used to him by her just as Neji relied on seeing her when the day ended. His instincts geared in, but Hinata touched his wrist once with a smile and Neji didn't pursue it any further. It wouldn't be the first time.

It agitated him because this was a longer operation than the times they were separated. Before they parted, Hinata had gently warned him about his eyes. Neji responded by briefly touching her back and murmuring a goodbye as she took off first. She didn't look back and it gave him momentary pleasure that Hinata didn't question his touch. He trusted her skills and didn't worry for the rest of the day. But his team was set back four days from an ambush.

Neji jerked back the weapon from the body and stepped away. "All clear," he announced. A disturbance in the shrubbery then the rest joined him in the open space. "They've appeared more frequently," he noted, flicking the blood off the blade with a sharp swipe down.

"Not much we can do," said a Sand nin.

"I heard Naruto already eliminated the main source of power. There must be something stronger out there summoning these things."

Neji watched the body disintegrate. "Most likely."

They left the clearing. At the campsite, Neji scanned the area and pushed down another rise of frustration. There were fewer teams and there was no sight of her among them. Neji flexed a hand. The moon was approaching and as the fires died in the darkness, he discarded sleep and took position on the forest floor.

Another nin stood guard on the opposite end. The Byakugan alerted him to any invaders. But when there were none, Neji willed it away, rubbing his eyes. It was starting to ache and even a split second of losing sight would cost his life. He crouched by the base of a tree, too tense to consider rest, and admitted that he was too reliant on her. He needed to be patient.

The wind was too light, the leaves rustling too loudly. Neji waited. A frantic step from just around the corner and he charged, latching onto the nin's shoulders, circulating enough chakra to stun him. Her, Neji corrected, because it was Hinata who was wearily watching him in return. His hands nearly lifted from her skin. Chakra stilled in its pathway. If this was another copy, he couldn't stand to do it again. "Hinata?"

She tensed and Neji instinctively directed all chakra into his left hand to shove it down towards her center when her elbow jabbed him. Hinata moved, hitting his arm and aimed a charged hand onto his shoulder while her foot hooked around his leg. Neji pushed his weight against her, twisted her wrist and pinned her against the tree. She was immobilized, her hands caught in his.

Neji knew that movement. Hinata had always done so in practice when he caught her all the same. A bad habit, Neji had told her, because he already anticipated it. No copy could have known that. His grip loosened. He couldn't voice her name again, not when their bodies were intimately tangled. It was getting strange staring into her eyes, seeing the realization reflect in them. But it wasn't same to her because Hinata sighed, slumping forward. "Neji-niisan."

Neji stared fixedly. Her breathing evened. Soon, he lowered his arm and stood back to catch her as she fell onto him. Neji hoisted her in his arms, checked the immediate surrounding and disappeared.

...

The clinical smell irritated him.

He resolutely stood by her bedside, curtains drawn for privacy. It had only been a few hours since they arrived. Hinata had drifted in and out of consciousness, latching on his sleeve when her gaze focused, and told him of the situation, though Neji was certain it wouldn't be a memory when she awoke. The medics took her from his arms, ushered her into a private corner, and he was kept out until they were finished. Before he could report to Hiashi, he needed to gather information.

He stepped in the second they informed him. Few bandages patched her arms, one was on her forehead, and there was a binding on her thigh. Not too severe, but it made him restless. The first time she was brought in as a patient, it tested his fortitude. It took her days to wake. He allowed himself to hold her wrist, felt her warm skin, blood pulsing beneath his fingers. A quick look up and he was relieved to see her tranquil face in sleep. Neji was reluctant to leave her without guard. There were too few clansmen present, but there was urgency in finding her team. She was alone and injured when they met.

Five hours later, Neji found his answer. Under the scrutiny of his gaze and a near confrontation, one teammate begrudgingly detailed the events, and it displeased him immensely that Hinata undertook finding reinforcement alone.

"She had the advantage, being the least injured and the Byakugan to use," Neji was told. A quick assessment of the nin and he checked the urge to physically correct his statement. Hinata had nearly succumbed to chakra depletion and the wounds on her outnumbered this nin's. Neji eyed him stonily. "None of us could risk moving. She volunteered to be sent."

Neji bristled, ire coloring his words. "And no one thought to assist her? You rely on one nin to rescue your team knowing the risks. You all would have been eliminated had she not succeeded."

Their eyes met, hostility brimming in one, the other glazed with coolness. It must have been his imagination that he saw the white pupils expand in the Hyuuga's eyes. He chose his next words carefully. "The end results matter. We returned back to base," he said, eyeing him guardedly. The Hyuuga were known to be vigilant on matters concerning their clansmen, but had no clue on where the female Hyuuga ranked in the clan. Konoha guarded their secrets and there was no way of knowing her identity. "That is all."

The man pushed past him, agitation in his steps. There would be no repercussions, it had to be done, but the looming possibility of Hinata being drafted back in the same unit vexed him, and Neji made a quick decision. He stopped the man by grabbing his arm. "If she perishes because of inadequate cooperation and poor decision making, then I will be the one to look for you."

He jerked back, but Neji twisted his hold. He snarled, "Don't expect anyone of us to live while we're at war. That also goes for her. I can't control that."

His grip tightened. "No, you cannot. But you will minimize the threat to her life when it happens again."

It resulted in a scuffle but Neji contained the situation before it attracted attention. A warning, a threat, a request, however it could be taken, the man walked away with a bruised pride.

Neji returned to the medical tent, not the least appeased.

At the sight of her resting, Neji gave serious consideration in reassigning her permanently to his side. It could be done with Hiashi's discretion. A small groan came from her. Neji pushed the thoughts away. He checked the medicinal tray, tasted the dish for poison because he was too wound up from taking any risks. A medic nin came by, and Neji moved to the side to watch. Hinata didn't stir and the medic carefully checked her condition, mindful of the male Hyuuga's watchful eyes. "Mild exhaustion," he mumbled, prodding with a metal tool flowing with chakra.

The heart monitor assured that his patient was well and alive. He pursued a little further in, thinking that there might be something unusual coursing through her. But that could be just his imagination. Too many nins exhibited strange responses and the war played a factor. It was likely that the Hidden Villages had not been exposed to other unique jutsus from clans and some were stumped at remedying the symptoms afterwards.

He glanced at her face. This patient of his was probably not an unfortunate victim. But to be sure, he studied her chakra lines, noting that the Hyuuga clan was truly reputable. Years ago, he treated two of his fellow villagers that had suffered from their offensive strikes. It took him days to rewire the chakra flow back, to stop the excessive internal bleeding, and finally restore the ability of their ninjutsu. They'd been sluggish afterwards in recovery. He suppressed a shiver. He'd rather not be their enemies.

The warm flow of chakra flowed back into his hands. If there was something still wrong then it was too complex for him to extract.

"That is?" a deep voice suddenly said and the medic was quickly reminded of his presence.

Had he mumbled in the silence again? It was unnerving with her guard concealing himself. "I thoroughly checked for any deformation or poison running through her chakra. I thought there might be something unusual, but I was mistaken." He straightened, nodding to the male Hyuuga and made his way out, head held high despite the tracking eyes locked on him. "She may leave as soon as she wakes."

Neji waited until they were fully concealed before moving towards her bedside.

She was remarkable, the unmatched determination in her was the reason he faithfully followed her. Along that devotion, somehow along the way, it developed into passion. The moment he realized it, he blamed it on hormones. No other woman took his time as much as Hinata. It didn't affect him immediately, not when he fought back, landed hits on her, when she kicked at his feet and proclaimed victory over him with a charged hand to his face, none of it registered until hours later while he lay awake in the late hours of the night. The next few weeks, it had rattled him when he began to notice.

"Hinata-sama."

She stirred but remained dreaming.

If she told him to kneel and pledge his loyalty, he would unflinchingly do so. It nearly tore him to see exhaustion weighing her body down.

"Hinata."

...

Hiashi summoned him later that day. A clansman by the entrance motioned for him. Neji shot a meaningful look towards Hinata and Kou appeared, taking his place.

Neji left.

He was still covered in dirt and sweat, but the Head didn't seem to care, not when his own uniform was stained with blood. "How is she?" Hiashi asked gruffly.

"She is well."

The older Hyuuga observed the bowed head of his nephew. "I do not blame you, Neji. Circumstances beyond our control took advantage of her vulnerability." A sudden throb on his forehead and it ebbed away the second it appeared. "My daughter is strong, but these times are difficult."

"Excuse me, Hiashi-sama," Neji said. "I was informed of their report." Truthfully, it was nearly strangled out of one stubborn youth, no older than them. "Hinata-sama assisted the team efficiently even at the risk of her injuries. She searched alone for reinforcement due to unique circumstances and that is how I found her, Hiashi-sama."

A stretch of silence. "The enemies are certainly daring. Tell me your thoughts, Neji." He lifted his head. "This war has gone on for too long. We've lost good men."

It shouldn't relieve him that the discussion navigated away from Hinata. "I agree, Hiashi-sama. I no longer think it is beneficial for us to continue like this. At most, another year will be our limit."

"The villages are not responding as quickly anymore. They cannot keep up with the number of demands," Hiashi said grimly. "If we are fated to lose, then the Hyuuga line will be lost." Neji grimaced. The long standing pride of the Hyuuga had lasted since its originator and for the clan to perish was unspeakable. Their ancestors would shake their heads. "I cannot allow that."

"What must we do, Hiashi-sama?"

"Neji, until the time comes, please keep watch of Hinata."

The veins in him ran cold. "I will do so."

Hiashi faced him with forbidding expectation. "The Kages have pushed forward a plan. It's considered a suicide mission, but it will most likely end the war." He stared dully at the ground. "You are the strongest, Neji." He knew what was being asked of him. "It will take several months to execute it, but when it is time, we will attack them with Naruto leading the front." He only had one question and Hiashi stared straight at him to answer: "Hinata needn't come. Will you join them, Neji?"

It was a sort of odd limbo in his life, the war, the smell of disinfectant and blood, the excursion of battle, and Hinata always needing him beside her in the dark. If his aid could end the war, to finally see Hinata relieved of the war, happy that Naruto would emerge victorious, he would, even if it meant he wouldn't be there to witness it.

A flash of strong silvery eyes, always kind and trusting.

Neji turned away. "Yes."

* * *

**TBC**

I'm curious how people perceive Neji, including how he is towards Hinata. I like hearing how people imagine Neji aside from what we're given in the official works. I like writing Neji like this though. Though I guess it's hard to place his individuality away from Hinata? I tried. As always, tell me what you think.


	2. Venus

_I guess I lied before; I can update every month for now since it'll be 10 years since I've first registered here. Honestly, Neji/Hinata motivated me so much to continue writing. Shaved off about 500 words while editing the first chapter again. Chapter 3 is practically done until beta is finished._

* * *

((**Venus**))

what the sun doesn't see

/_occasional glimpses of_/ ((Neji-centric)) &amp; ((Hinata-centric))

* * *

They were separated from the rest by an explosion.

Neji swiftly recovered and rose, concentrated on her familiar scream. She was descending fast, hair whipping violently. His knees bent, the weight of her fall forcing him to kneel and his arms curled tightly around her as the wind rushed at them. "Hinata-sama," he said huskily as she blinked rapidly to regain her senses. He angled her down so her feet touched the ground.

She gulped down air. "N-Neji-niisan."

"You're safe now."

She didn't leave his arms yet. "Where are we?" she asked softly, steadying herself with a hand on his shoulder. "Something shook the ground… and we all fell through this crack." She looked at him. "Neji-niisan," she said worriedly.

"We'll be fine." If Neji had nothing to fear, then it eased her worries. She latched onto his sleeve and when he stared down at her unblinkingly, Hinata remembered he always gave her his undivided attention. "What is it, Hinata-sama?"

"I cannot see anyone nearby for miles," she said.

He looked up. "It seems we fell by a cliff."

She watched his grim face survey the land and didn't think to move away if Neji did not mind her closeness. "Neji-niisan."

His eyes flicked down momentarily, searching her face. "We'll find our way back."

His fingers briefly tightened on her skin and Hinata hastily stood. They went to a winding pathway, riddled with thorns and branches. His broad back was all she saw and it reassured her greatly. He was stoically silent even when she grunted as sharp leaves scratched and caught her in its grip.

They endured it and she focused on his strong figure moving forward until there was a crack and he disappeared. "Neji-niisan!" and she followed down the next second.

She couldn't hear past her own cries until water swallowed all noise. Her legs kicked instinctively to rise. She sputtered, seeing nothing. Neji came up beside her and pulled her around the waist. "I'm here, Hinata," he said and the panic vanished. "I'll bring us to shore." Her teeth chattered, knowing she could move on her own, but the adrenaline still hadn't faded.

Once they touched land, Hinata struggled to stand, the heavy dampness pulling her down. She looked curiously when Neji stood before her and yelped when his hands reached down. He lifted her, shouldering her weight with one arm while the other held a kunai to slash away overreaching plants. "Neji-niisan," Hinata uttered timidly. "You don't have to carry me."

He gave her a brief glance. "It's fine."

Her hands clutched his shoulders as he forged a path. Their uniforms were soaked and weapons were latched on her. She tried to lessen her weight but if she squirmed, she was afraid it would tip their balance. "But it's heavy…"

"I can handle it."

She reddened and didn't say anymore. He effortlessly continued on, occasionally hefting her. Since she was elevated, Hinata looked around.

"Hinata," he said after a moment and she blinked. "You have to climb me."

Without waiting, he used his other arm to hoist her up by the hips. Her hands raised uncertainly. "Uhm."

"Grip the ledge."

His voice was hard and she hurriedly did so. She peeked down but his hair shielded his face. She shut her eyes tightly and pulled herself up. Her legs flailed and she didn't want to acknowledge a soft push helping her. "Wait, Neji-niisan. I'll help you," she called down.

"No need." She frowned and a second later, he leapt up and landed in a crouch in front of her. She looked at him incredulously as he stood. "Let's continue on." She waited to be lifted again and when Neji looked over his shoulder, her cheeks heated. "Hinata?"

"It's nothing," she said and hurried past him.

He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to his body. "Be careful," he told her, lowering her by his side. At her silence, he continued, "Venomous plants inhabit here. We must watch our step."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, face hidden.

Neji frowned. "Stay close to me." She was almost slack in his grip so Neji tightened his hold and swung her in his arms again. There was something soothing about being surrounded by his strength. "Hinata," he said and she had to look up at his face. "I cannot use the Byakugan," he reminded.

"Oh," she gasped and at once, it crept into her eyes. "A few miles to the south, there is an opening," she said, clutching his vest. "I don't see anyone."

He moved forward. "One matter at a time."

Light finally seeped in when they reached the end. Hinata curiously looked miles beyond and found the land empty. But the sun was setting. "I don't think we can go further," she said, watching him.

He nodded. He was about to say her name, then hesitated, jaw working as if to test out the words until he finally said, "Hinata-sama."

It was a bit strange for some reason. "Yes?"

"We'll rest here for the night."

"Alright," she said. "Neji-niisan."

…

It was not the first time she clings to him at night, but it's very different from what he predicted.

He can sometimes feel her tentative grip grasp the shirt of his back. He cannot sleep some nights when his skin practically hummed from the space between their hands laying close. If her legs shifted too close, he would move away. If the sheets fell further below, he would tug it back up. But he could not, nor would he, do anything if they faced each other in sleep.

He woke, nerves on edge because he found that they were touching. He's on his back like usual but there was a weight spread unevenly on his side and he already knew.

She's fast asleep.

Granted, the space was more cramped and there was no choice, but still, Neji liked to think there were boundaries she had to be aware of. How many times he latched onto the memory of her skin pressing his in the midnight hours.

He nearly scrubbed a hand down his face and realized he couldn't move his arm.

He summoned what little will he had left, though it's difficult to comprehend it when she's making small noises that unintentionally inflamed him. He glanced at her face. A nightmare. He waited until she settled down. Until it passed, he dimly registered he was staring at a row of trees and he slowly blinked.

She was quiet again and Neji risked another look and mistakenly wandered below where her common shirt stretched and the angle was to his advantage– no, disadvantage given his very unfortunate dilemma. Years of carefully built discipline crumbled from just a brush of her garment because he can see the shadows where her breasts curve and it's beginning to distract him.

And Neji thinks himself a fool. He dully stared up and tried to count.

It may have been one hour since she rolled in her sleep. It would take even less for him to be inside her because if she's willingly, then he's confident he can make her succumb to his touch, and though his pride wouldn't admit it, his body was all too enthusiastic to give in first. All he had to do was slash away the cloth that covered her dampness so he could just push into her easily.

He grimaced and exhaled.

Two. Which led him to think on just how shapely her body was. Her chest was remarkably large and it was pressing against him. It was interfering with his ability to count because he cannot get past two.

Four – Neji paused and he's certain he skipped a number but cannot grasp it because she moved and Neji held himself still. It's tempting him; she always managed to without even trying. To just shift her down a little lower where he wanted her to be. He was honest enough to acknowledge it had to do with her womanly body before her smile had the power to reduce him to a man whose imaginations ran wild.

He recounted again.

He successfully reached five. Five, as in five fingers. She had loosely wrapped three of hers to his, leaving two of his curled in the night air. It was warmer below where her legs tangled with his and he was very aware of the hollow between her thighs hovering over the space of his hips.

What came after – six or seven but Neji thought, _hell_, for his rationality fading. The least he could was reach ten but even that was an achievement.

Disaster struck when Hinata shifted yet again. She liked moving it seems and it made him think hard if she would be the same beneath him. Straying to that thought didn't help because they now fully touched below. It's misaligned though; his abdomen is not completely pressed to hers but their height makes up for it.

"Nngh," she mumbled and Neji selfishly thought he can make her replicate that sound with just his hands.

Where was he – seven or eight. It's close to the number of years he was already waiting for her. Only a year or two left but it won't matter. He will probably wait forever.

"Hinata."

He didn't realize it was said aloud until she shifted. He can sense her eyes flutter and there's a desperate part of him that wanted to see her wake. His mask was slipping and he made sure not a single thread of his turmoil showed. Even if she awoke right then and there, he was sadly certain she wouldn't notice the problem they had. He revised that when her eyes flicked down to a hand clutching his shoulder. Her eyes widened and he thought, _good_. For all his bravado, there was satisfaction.

She pulled back. "Uhm, Neji-niisan," she began and it was the coldest remedy. "I-I'm sorry."

She slid down to his side and he bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He lets the silence fill the air and turned his head to watch her face turn red.

"It's fine," he finally said. "You can do as you please."

Before she could decipher it, Neji tossed his blanket to her face to shield her from seeing the front of his pants as he stood and turned away. He looked over his shoulder at the sound of shuffling and her head poked out. "Neji-niisan, I didn't mean–"

"It doesn't bother me."

He left her to wonder about it and made an excuse to briefly depart.

When he returned, she had curled in his spot and Neji sighed.

* * *

There was a commotion nearby.

She heard of Neji's victory, but then mass panic ensued. Hinata whipped towards the sudden flock of crows emerging from the deep forest, heard several shouts and saw dark shadows gathering in place. The Byakugan revealed it was allies and Hinata began moving towards it, worry tugging at her. She had not seen Neji yet, which was strange because he would usually appear somewhere nearby.

As soon as she landed, Hinata found other unit members guarding a group of bodies laid on the ground, their chakra pulsating slowly, a disruption in its usual rhythm. Then she saw Neji among them and panic gripped her. "Neji-niisan!" She needed to feel his pulse but someone blocked her pathway from getting closer. The order was on her lips until she met the shades of Shino Abumare.

"You cannot go closer, Hinata."

"What's going on?" she asked, fixing her gaze beyond him.

"They're under a jutsu," he explained, never moving. "We don't know what's been done to them. But it's best we don't wake them."

She tried stepping closer and he followed. "Let me stay beside him."

"The medic is observing them," he smoothly said.

"Is he... is he going to be okay?"

"Believe in them," he said, but she no longer heard him.

All she could focus on was the movement of his chest, signalling he was still alive.

...

His body jerked.

Then his eyes fluttered, a groan resonating from Kiba somewhere beside him, and the shuffling movement of bodies nearby told him that they returned to reality. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to rise. Kiba was on his hands and knees, panting, as Akamaru anxiously licked him. Neji only managed to walk a few steps before dropping to his knees and then Hinata was there. Neji tried to hold his weight, but it was too disorientating. He sunk back on his legs to a sitting position and she suddenly embraced him tightly.

He could feel her tears. "Hinata," he said.

"You're alive," she cried.

Because they were so close, their heads touched and Neji didn't dare to peer at her face, knowing the number of eyes around them. One turn and her lips could brush against his jaw. Instead, he loosely wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I am fine, Hinata."

She gripped him tighter. He tried to make out her words through her sobbing and eventually conceded to silence.

...

Hinata pleasantly realized how comfortable it was being with him.

"Neji-niisan!" He turned towards her and she saw the widening of his eyes before they collided. Hinata wrapped her arms tightly around him, missing the hesitancy in his body. "You're safe," she said in relief, sliding back down to set her feet on the ground.

Neji stepped back, but didn't remove his hands from her shoulders. "I'm glad to see you well too, Hinata-sama."

"We won the fight," she told him.

Sometimes it's quick, to feel the warmth of his skin and hear the steady pounding of his heart. Sometimes she lingered, afraid that it would be the last time. The damage to his eyes was already a heavy toll and she sought him out at the end of each battle. But what sated her was the brief tightening of his arms, a quiet exhale ruffling her hair before his mask returned.

Rarely it was him that initiated it. She could count with one hand.

Lately, it was increasing in frequency from his side. His arm pulled her in, surprising her, and her nose bumped the vest he wore. "You're alive," he said, a line repeating throughout their exchanges. She was released before she could even react. He cleared his throat and it made her smile. "Will you join me as I scout a few miles west from here?"

"That sounds good," she encouraged. "I will gather my supplies," she said and hurried away.

When she returned, he was holding a scroll. "We'll leave in an hour."

She paused. "I'm sorry, Neji-niisan, but may we leave a little later? I'd like for a medic to check your health."

He met her eyes. "It is not possible to deny you."

He looked back at the scroll, seemingly not roused by his declaration. As if it was an everyday declaration. She didn't know how much her authority ruled over him. "It's alright if you do," she said in the silence. "If my decisions are questionable, please say so."

His quiet sigh shattered the tension. "That's not what I meant."

Her heart beat a little faster. "Oh."

Paper shuffled in his hand and Neji directed his attention back down.

…

It happened all too fast.

One moment he was battling an unseen foe, then Hinata intercepting a kunai headed to his blind spot. The battle was nearing its end and it wasn't until Kiba's roar that his body ran cold.

"Hinata! We need a medic!"

"She's not breathing," Shino said grimly.

Neji acted immediately. He knelt, putting his mouth over hers and pushed in air.

Behind him, Shino observed. "Her heart is not responding."

His hands pumped her chest in a rhythm before placing his mouth over hers again.

"Neji, we have to move her!"

But he didn't listen until he heard the faint pounding of her heart.

"Neji!"

"No," he growled and forced his hands to remain steady.

Her lips were cold, too cold.

"She needs-"

She suddenly inhaled deeply, coughed, and curled to her side. The only medic arrived and Neji stood, numb to the core. He walked a distance, enough so that her faint voice was still audible.

He sank into a crouch and breathed.

His heart wouldn't stop pounding, completely unlike hers moments ago. His fists clenched to stop its trembling. He couldn't fix his gaze long enough to focus on anything else than her pale face.

His life stretched before him. They had many responsibilities but during the day, she'd always find her way to him, bringing tea and her smile, and Neji had already decided long ago that she was his place of retreat.

He buried his face in his hands and breathed.

He would have stood witness to her burial and return to the emptiness of the Hyuuga compound. The Main House would punish him and he couldn't imagine living on beyond her. An endless torment of duty to the village and repentance to the clan awaited him. Each day, he had to live longer without her.

He ran a hand over his hair, held it there and breathed.

How miserable his life truly was without her, Neji realized grimly. Cold and duty-driven. Despair filled him until it swallowed him whole. He tried to imagine it, another woman that might have taken his attention as Hinata did. _No_, he thought darkly. Too long he sought her, all those years to realize he loved her. There could be no one else.

He breathed.

Steps shuffled uncertainly behind him.

"Neji-niisan?" Her voice was small.

There was a sudden need to see her face, but fear still lingered at his near failure.

"Neji-niisan."

"What?" he rasped.

"It's okay," she murmured and sat next to him.

The silence didn't bother him because he was content to hear the quiet sound of her breathing. His heartbeat tried to match its rhythm, slowing from its erratic thump.

She shifted, her arms coming around one of his. Her touch was warm. Unlike the coldness of her flesh just moments ago.

Neji returned her touch and breathed.

The next words from her lips could destroy him. "Thank you," she could say and he would laugh emptily because he never needed her thanks. "Are you alright?" she could say and he would never recover from it.

But all she said was, "Neji-niisan."

He stared, memorizing her features to memory. Color returned to her face, the dark circles under her eyes were more prominent, her cheeks tinged with faint pinkness. Her lips were still not its usual redness, but nowhere did it match its paleness back then.

His hand drifted down from her shoulder to wrap around her body and pulled her in, and she quietly held him in return.

...

It was ill-timing when she became aware sometime in the night.

She shivered and curled in herself. A hand reached to touch her face and moved down to her shoulder, gently pulling her closer.

Her head lifted.

"Neji-niisan?" she mumbled.

He grunted and she felt the vibration of it. She blinked until her vision adjusted in the darkness. He was staring down at her.

Hinata froze. There was darkness and longing lurking in those eyes drinking in the sight of her.

She waited, for when he would give her a wry smile and command her to return to sleep, to have him turn away and leave her to her musings, for him to simply close his eyes and pretend this moment never happened. But still, their gaze was locked.

Her hand clenched and he noticed. "A bad dream?" he asked lowly.

She shook her head.

He shifted, his long hair nearly tangling with hers. "Close your eyes, Hinata."

"Neji-niisan?"

It broke the spell.

He put a finger on his lips and laid back down, face turned away. And she was left wondering what she had seen in him.

...

Some nins were getting acquainted intimately nearby.

Hinata fidgeted and opted for a discreet exit. When it was obvious the pair was too engaged to notice, she fled.

She only managed a small distance when she bumped into something hard. She looked up. Neji looked on with interest. "What are you doing, Hinata-sama?"

She scrambled to her feet and stumbled when he helped her up. "Nothing," she said quickly.

He searched her face and the downturn of his lips told her that he doubted it. He looked over where she had emerged from and when veins started to rise by his eyes, Hinata grabbed him. "Don't look!" she said frantically and he was surprised.

"Ah."

Hinata reddened.

"I wondered why you looked pale," he continued to her horror. However she looked right now, Neji nearly smiled. "You shouldn't be embarrassed."

Her cheeks heated and surprisingly, it was because Neji seemed to find humor in her. "I didn't mean to," she tried to defend herself. "I wanted to pick some herbs a-and…"

"Allow me to help." He moved forward.

"No!" She latched her arms around him.

He looked over his shoulder and she missed the smile on his lips. "You truly are one of a kind, Hinata-sama," he said beneath his breath.

Hinata looked. The corner of his eyes crinkled in his amusement.

"I think I saw some further this way," she said quickly, pulling him alongside.

And because it was natural, she continued to hold his hand as they went deeper in the forest.

* * *

He was reminded Naruto was the one she loved.

He towered over her, brimming with power. Neji was prepared to attack. Hinata stumbled next to him, pulling his arm down. "Stop, Neji-niisan, it's him!"

"We don't know that for sure."

In front of them, Naruto burned with immense chakra, his colors different, and eyes without its silliness from innocent days. He wasn't saying anything, watching them with eerie coolness.

She wasn't looking at him, her voice strong. "I know it's Naruto-kun." Neji paused and eventually, he conceded to her.

He stood straighter. He needed to focus. And as the battle resumed, his heart grew heavier.

She pulled away, failing to notice how his hand hovered in the air before falling to his side.

She sought for Naruto, the blond hero, and nearly lost sight of Neji beside her, battling others to keep her safe.

She tried calling Naruto's name, oblivious of the smack of flesh and grunts of pain behind her.

She situated herself by a vulnerable area Naruto couldn't cover, never seeing Neji struggle to protect them both, his eyes beginning to flicker between darkness and light.

She didn't feel the grit of the earth slicing into her skin as Naruto was thrown across the battlefield nor did she feel rough hands push her away from an attack.

"Naruto!" everyone was calling, her voice drowning among it.

The battle ended with their win. Sakura hurriedly attended to Naruto and she watched with growing dread when Naruto didn't respond.

Neji stumbled to his feet, trying to clear his vision and shakily made his way to her. He waved Tenten away, knowing her panic would alert the others. He knelt beside her. "Hinata, where are you hurt?"

But all she could focus on was Sakura trying to revive him. She didn't notice when he lifted her hand, briefly scouring her chakra lines. They watched with bated breath as Sakura pushed on his chest until he responded. Neji narrowed his eyes, trying to see through the shadows of his lids. She breathed easier when Naruto opened his eyes. Neji stood, looking for medics before his vision failed him. Once he made sure she was secured, he left.

"He's alive," Kiba breathed in relief.

Kakashi wandered past the rest to his students and they turned away. "We need a medic," Shino said grimly.

Hinata looked. Blood coated the sleeves of their uniform and she flinched, beginning to feel the sting of fatigue. "Let me," she offered but felt dizzy when she stepped forward.

"Hinata-sama, we will treat you," a Hyuuga said, appearing beside her.

"Did we lose anyone?" Kiba asked and Hinata didn't want to look to see the silent response.

Her wounds began closing. "Thank you. Neji-niisan," she called, turning to where he was, but he was nowhere in sight. Panic gripped her. "Where-"

"He returned to base, Hinata-sama," Kou settled her fears. "Our medics will evaluate him."

"Is anyone with him?"

A delicate pause that made her uneasy. "I believe so."

Kou quickly excused himself and Hinata watched as Lee attended to Tenten.

When they finally reconvened for the night and Hinata cleared and organized her thoughts, Neji remained quiet as he redid the bandages on him. "Neji-niisan," she began, sitting in front of him. "How are your eyes?" His eyes flicked up once and she saw his struggle with the tense slant of his eyes as the Byakugan briefly flashed once and back. She touched her hands together. "Is it getting worse?"

He shook his head.

She watched as he carefully ripped excessive cloth. His eyes looked heavy, his mouth drawn in a line. "Do you want food and water?"

Another silent denial and he wouldn't look her in the eyes. They settled in silence. Neji unwrapped a binding when a red splatter blossomed on his arm and he hissed when she tentatively applied alcohol. "Is this from today?" she asked quietly.

A non-committal grunt.

She set down the materials and generated chakra to her palms. "I'm glad you're okay." He said nothing. It hovered over him, a warm flow streaming down his beaten skin.

It was received graciously but still, Neji did not talk.

* * *

"If you want the report, seduce me."

They stared.

"You may be qualified for reconnaissance type of work," the nin said, tapping the papers with her nails.

"This isn't relevant to us," Neji said flatly.

"To you it isn't," she said coolly. "You, however, have potential."

Hinata blinked. "No," Neji gritted. "She will not."

A nerve ticked by her mouth. "Are you shaming this type of work?"

"Only that you chose poorly in considering candidates," he returned. Hinata dropped her eyes to the ground.

"You are not well-informed in this field, Hyuuga," she scoffed. "You cannot even consider the qualifications."

"You seem to think I have not encountered these nins before."

Hinata stared. It was something she never thought of him before.

"Her training will teach her to adapt to new scenarios," she continued.

"Hinata-sama has already chosen her path."

Hinata wrung her hands, trying to choose her words carefully. When she tried to intervene, they ignored her. "We will not send her out unequipped." Her hand waved over and a genjutsu cloaked her face. "They won't recognize her as a Hyuuga."

Neji looked twice and scowled. His hands formed a familiar seal and it dispelled. "It can be removed just as easily."

"It was a demonstration."

"It's not for you to decide."

They looked at her. "No, thank you," Hinata finally said. "My work now is better fitting for me."

Her eyes flicked over her figure critically and Neji stiffened. "We'll offer it to you again if you're interested."

She didn't know what to say to appease Neji because he bristled with anger for some reason. "I'm grateful for the opportunity," she said. "I've never thought about it," she continued, missing his twitch. "But I'm glad I have the potential to do something else." The commander nodded curtly, pushed the report to Neji's hands, and walked away. "That was…something to think about," she began with a weak smile.

"It won't suit you," he wanted to say.

"They will touch you," he said instead and Hinata met his eyes, alarmed. "When you are in their bed, they will care for only their own pleasure. There is nothing convenient about bedding you." Something burned between them and there was a ferociousness in his eyes. "You are not like Ino Yamanaka who can gain the advantage in seduction. You cannot even say no to me."

"Oh," she mumbled.

Neji nodded and turned to walk back and she hurried to his side.

She drowned in her thoughts. He was the eldest male among their companions and was experienced in these matters, Hinata reasoned, which meant it ended badly for the female nins. But she couldn't explain the tight pulse of her heart at the thought.

It was because of his casual remark that Hinata couldn't get it out of her head.

He was across the field, conversing with an older woman from another village. His lips was set in its no-nonsense fashion, but humor briefly flared in his eyes.

Details began emerging and Hinata was uncomfortable, unsure if it was her imagination or slivers of truth presented to her. She pretended to not notice how long it took for him to return from a checkup at the end of a day or the quick looks he exchanged with another unfamiliar female nin when the army gathered.

Her feet moved without thinking and it registered how close she was to him when his voice became clearer. Before her nerves overwhelmed her, she tugged on his sleeve and his attention solely centered on her. "I want to go back," she told him and without another word, Neji followed her. "Do you have any reports to submit?" she asked him to fill the silence.

"No."

When it was clear he wasn't going to attempt conversation, she asked timidly, "Did I interrupt anything?"

"You didn't," he said tersely.

She searched for any sign but he was unreadable. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

He was bewildered. "It was nothing important." She might have looked unconvinced because he firmly added, "I would rather be with you, Hinata-sama."

Warmth filled her along with her heart drumming. "Me too," she returned and he gave her a smile.

"I believe I overheard Chouji saying he had your favorite brand of tea," he said and lead the way with a small push on her back.

It sobered her, because he understood her well yet she could not even begin to understand him.

...

She woke several hours later to find Neji still asleep.

His guard was always up, even with her. But it was a rare sight to see him at peace and Hinata curled towards him. In the mornings, there was barely enough time to observe him. Her fingers hovered uncertainly over his forehead, where his hair messily fell over his eyes. He had held a kunai to her throat more than once before and she was shaken. It had been years when the fury in his eyes was directed to her. But now, she was aware how frequently they were together in the war, how she had seen more in him than anyone could have possibly have.

How did he know, she often wondered when darkness consumed her thoughts. It only meant he was watching her from long ago. It was her turn, she swore and brushed a lone strand, unthinkingly. Maybe it was okay, she thought, trailing down his cheek. All those times she woke from touching him and he was indifferent to it. Perhaps because it was her, but how different was it to him when it came to others, she thought, surprising herself.

A tight grip bruised her wrist and Hinata was startled to see Neji with savagery in his heavy stare.

He leaned down, shielding her vision from everything else. A near panic gripped her and she froze when his breath fanned her cheek. "What were you doing."

Her throat was dry. "Nothing," she whispered.

His grip flexed on her wrist. "Don't lie to me, Hinata."

"I-" She refused to show fear, afraid it could destroy what they had bridged over the years. "I'm sorry."

His voice dropped low. "For?"

She never noticed how calculating his eyes were behind his blank look. "Your hair," she swallowed. "I just...pushed it back."

He hesitated. "Don't touch me," he ground out. "I may have killed you, Hinata."

But she had touched him before in her sleep. His sleeve, the back of his uniform, and the occasional nights when she awoke in his arms and he was telling her, "Hinata, if you please," with an exasperated tone, though her memory was fogged. It cleared suddenly and now she realized it was said between clenched teeth. "It wasn't like this before," she quietly put in.

His eyes narrowed. "Explain."

"I-It's not the first time. You didn't…You didn't mind."

"That's different."

Her chin lifted, bringing their lips dangerously close. "How?" she managed to say.

"You didn't know what you were doing," he said softly, tightening his hold.

"But I knew it was you," she uttered, sensing him battling a turmoil.

"Don't," he said harshly and shoved himself off her. Without even an apology, Neji left.

When the morning sun came, she rose and prepared for the day.

And when they were together again, he was unusually more reserved.

* * *

They stood guard over Naruto.

She willed the strength in her to protect the man behind her, with the assurance that Neji was beside her as was her clansmen, that they were united.

It's a long, rough fight. Naruto couldn't summon the power to fight against that monster and sat there in the crossfire and Hinata rushed to protect him.

She was going to die, but that was fine, because at least there was still a chance Naruto could end the war. Even when she couldn't properly convey her gratefulness to Neji, who was a shadow to her, and Naruto for how much he inspired her; there was no more time. Neji would fulfill her will. Naruto would continue his legacy.

She waited for the embodiment of spikes, though oddly her pitiful life wasn't flashing in front of her, not when Naruto was before her with the terror in his eyes transforming to dread. Then she looked over her shoulder when she saw, _heard_, the sickening piercing of flesh and Neji using his body to protect them both.

Her limbs became too numb to move and it was Naruto who caught him.

…

He didn't even think.

His body launched towards the exposed pair, awaiting the Uchiha's attack, and strangely Neji was calm, knowing the inevitable as Hinata stood over Naruto with unyielding courage.

_This was one way_, Neji darkly thought, to engrave himself in her heart.

And as her beautiful hair ruffled strongly in the wind, something large, something severe, embedded itself sharply through his body, tearing skin and vessels, halting his lungs with every piercing breath. But before he hit the ground, the sight of Hinata still standing was enough for him to accept his death.

His vision rushed to darkness and strong arms grabbed him before the hard ground welcomed him. The world blurred. He stared dully at the earth, trying to piece anything together, because the soul in him was pulsating weakly. He managed to move just the slightest bit, vaguely knowing it was Naruto who held him and beyond him, Hinata was on her knees, tears streaming, and not a single sound left her mouth.

Over Naruto's shoulder, the words came out of his mouth brokenly and he tried to smile; it was just difficult to move any muscles and it took all his strength to lift his head and focus on her, to assure Hinata that their parting was not for naught. He was no victim; it was his choice to lay his life down.

He was going to die in the next moment.

"Medic! He needs help! _Medic!"_

She was shedding tears.

"Anyone!"

There were many regrets, but it disappeared the moment he met her eyes.

"Your life is no longer yours," he told Naruto, focusing on the crystal shine of tears gathering in her eyes. "If Hinata is prepared to lay her life down for you... Then I will too."

He tried to tell her, _don't cry, Hinata_. But his strength was draining. He wanted to say the words, always simmering beneath the collected surface he used as a front, but it wouldn't come out because he couldn't work his throat to voice it.

She held his gaze, as if trying to keep him tied to this world, but even if it was an order from her lips, then it was something Neji could no longer fulfill.

The cold dark embraced him.

* * *

**TBC**


	3. Constellations

((**Constellations**))

when the moon and sun collide

_the end_

* * *

He was dreaming.

Neji blinked, feeling in control of his limbs. He didn't know how long he sat there on the wooden floors overlooking the garden. He crossed his arms, realizing he wore a loose robe and that his forehead was bare which was unusual because even when he wasn't on duty, it remained covered.

He swept a glance, looking for a head protector, a bandage, anything to cover it. He didn't recognize whose bedroom it belonged to but he noticed small trinkets; a brush, sandals that belonged to Hinata, his scrolls, and a mixture of their items. Neji wondered why but it didn't matter; he could gather them later. Time felt like it stretched to eternity. The blazing sun was hidden behind clouds and there was a sudden urge to visit his father's grave. He couldn't remember the last time he did. Everything looked familiar yet not the same and he was conflicted on how to leave. So much that Neji was lost in thought and by the time he came to, there was someone walking in the corridor.

The door slid open and Neji locked his eyes on the figure.

"Neji?" He couldn't blink, afraid to dispel the illusion. Light footfalls, the smooth crease of her long skirt, and the beautiful face that accompanied it. It was Hinata. She reached to touch his wrist then down to pull on his hand, fingers entwining intimately. Neji stared. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

He almost reached for a kunai that was never there, guilty at the thought because he now always suspected an impostor if she was ever this familiar. Had he survived the attack? Nothing felt painful except the hollow beat of his heart. But there she stood and he absentmindedly rubbed the area over his chest. "Hinata-sama?"

There was a small crinkle by her brows. "Neji, did anything happen?"

"Hinata-sama, why are you–" he trailed when she suddenly frowned. "Hinata," he tried and saw her face soften. "What are you doing?"

"I wanted to see you," she said shyly, fiddling with his sleeve. "I wasn't sure when you would wake up." There was a smile on her lips when she met no resistance and she gently took down other his arm to fold it down on his lap. Neji reviewed the situation quietly. "Are you hungry?" she asked, raising her head.

"No."

A long strand fell over his face and Hinata brushed it away, meeting his eyes with a thoughtful look, the air between them suddenly charged with longing. On her end as well, Neji realized with a jolt when she came closer. When her hand stroked his face, a cold metal touched his cheek. There was a ring. On her finger, that symbolized she had a husband and she was the wife to the lucky bastard. If that man appeared, he was going to lose it.

He stood, moving away from her. "Neji?"

"Where is he?"

She looked at him so guilelessly. "Who?"

Damn the gods if he had to say the name. He eyed her ring and Hinata noticed, bringing it up with questioning eyes. "My husband?" He tried not to bristle, but to hear it from her lips was unsettling. "He's here. You," she added when his gaze went blank.

"We are married."

"Yes," she said, something in him rejoicing and dying at the words.

Was this purgatory, Neji mused, leaving her gaze to inspect his surroundings. It was too good to be true and it surely was. He parted the hem and saw the smoothness of his skin without its scars and wounds. He pressed down on his chest, waiting for the sting of pain. There was none. _He was dead_. The realization was too groggy for him to process and Neji sought for a distraction. When he glanced at her face, she was eyeing his body intently with dazed interest and Neji froze.

Her eyes rose then she looked away, cheeks reddening. "I'll serve you tea," she said quickly.

Incredulous, Neji could only say, "Wait."

He came closer and gripped her chin, angling her face up to him. In another world, he wouldn't be able to do so. She bashfully focused on his hand, igniting a heavy madness in him. "Look at me," he ordered. The silence stretched and it almost relieved him when she didn't immediately obey. This Hinata only did so after a sudden long, drawn-out kiss that made him forget everything. He stared, trying to gather himself.

"You wanted to say something?" her voice broke his trance.

He could still feel the pressure of her lips. He supposed this was going to be his life now. The only wonder he had left was if Hinata would ever accept his love and not the conjuration of his imagination. "I," he started.

"Yes?"

He hadn't been able to say the words. He searched her eyes. She stared back worriedly, the exact replica of the living Hinata. He recalled a flash of tears streaking her cheeks and the wordless motion of her mouth. It faded and now, he was faced with her shy smile. He withheld the very words in the depth of his soul because his last chance was too bloody, too late to ever say it, but it was ready to burst out from the sight of her.

He tested the words, reluctant to say them because it would only ever be for Hinata Hyuuga. Not an illusion and not even in death because it was too soon for Hinata to join him, and Neji was going to find a way to haunt Naruto if he failed to keep her alive.

This Hinata seemed to sense his turmoil because she quietly admitted her love. She smiled beautifully with the same brightness that he remembered, but something in him still ached. He craved those words for too long and it no longer mattered that it was not truly her.

He wanted to hear it again and his chest seized when she said it once more. She moved closer, the warmth of her so real. "I know you love me," she told him tenderly.

Something wet his cheek. It wasn't rain, because as it slid down to his lips, it was too salty.

He ignored it, encircling her with his arms.

…

Hinata groaned.

_Sasuke Uchiha has returned._

She crawled, trying to reach for Neji's body beyond her, where Lee laid him down after openly mourning him. Not once had she touched him, not wanting to feel the coldness. Others may have found it selfish, but Naruto was still caught in a mindless frenzy and she needed to assert Neji's sacrifice was not for naught. Her heart was heavy; Neji always looked out for her and she couldn't say goodbye just yet.

So she pushed Naruto to continue and a ringing slap echoed down the fields. "Hinata?" Naruto had asked.

"He believed in you," she said.

She fought to keep her eyes from straying back to Neji's body; her priority was to stay alive. Just as he commanded and she could never say no to him. Even when Tenten shot her a devastated look as she stood beside Naruto and Lee wailed when they moved his body.

To protect them both, it was his last duty to the war. Somewhere in his words, she was there. There was something he was trying to convey only to her, but the blood loss had completely limited his speech and Hinata rapidly blinked to stop the tears.

Then the world was exploding with large vines capturing every nin in the battlefield.

"Stop!" she cried, seeing it squeeze Neji's body. "Let him go!"

The thickness of the vines swiped at her legs and rose to wrap around her body. Hinata raised her face to breathe, seeing the horror of the world disappearing.

…

It was very strange.

This fantasy world catered to his every indulgence.

He pursued her one late afternoon.

His mouth drifted along her neck and soft hands gripped his shoulders to pull him closer. Surprisingly his hands shook when he first reached for her and for all that he desired, it was not easy to accept her willingness. Now his fingers were steady as he wove through the long, heavy flow of her hair; it was always a curious need he repressed when she used to sleep beside him. He paused, struck at the memory before she questionably said his name. She was soft everywhere and Neji returned to her mouth to kiss her fervently.

It was not heaven because only they existed in this strange plain and this Hinata was not the woman he had fallen in love with. But he was constantly reminded of her and was weak to his desire that didn't have to be restrained here.

He lowered her to the floor.

…

Hinata woke, greedily inhaling air into her lungs. She coughed dryly as she hit the ground. It didn't even register to her that others fell from greater heights, some rolling off the vines as it uncurled.

_Naruto_. He must have freed them.

Hinata blinked, spots flickering in her vision.

She dreamed of something. Someone. But all she could remember was seeing the light, someone holding her and the peace she felt. In that moment, her eyes were closed with the assurance that whoever it was would protect her. She vaguely recalled calling out for someone and Hinata was no longer certain that it was Naruto's name.

She shook her head, willing her body to regain its strength.

She needed to search for Neji's body.

…

Sometimes he spent an entire day holding her in his arms.

They could be sitting on the wooden floors outside. He would tug her down until she fell between his spread legs and his arms secured her from leaving.

The bench in the garden served as the best light to her beauty. It was her domain, the exact mirrored scenery as it was in the Hyuuga compound. And the fact he always found her there broke a piece of his heart each time. She lulled him to sleep as his chest began throbbing painfully whenever he tried gazing beyond the walls.

The shade beneath the tree and grass was familiar to him. He frequented that area often to feel the earthy soil sink beneath his weight and her warmth touching his face as he drowsed. It was the farthest he'd gotten from the endless rooms and weariness consumed his bones until he sunk to his knees beneath the great tree.

The bed was the most comfortable. It was the most intimate places, a sacred refuge for his sanity. There was no other noise, no other person that disturbed them. His mind had become an eternal abyss that nothing could ground him and she never protested his tight grip as he held her each night.

Sometimes the day went by without the sight of her.

Maybe he willed it. He never spoke her name when he dreamed of the bravest and kindest woman in another world. Neji was no longer aware of himself. It was the floors or ceiling he saw when he came out of his musings.

And when he did not see her, nightmares and dreams haunted him.

"Neji?" she called him.

Sometimes she would not leave him. And Neji did not admit that feeling needed empowered the remnants of his soul.

"Hinata."

Some days he only said her name. It was longing, it was sometimes hunger and desire, it was a question, a call for her to return to his world and assure him that he was not alone. But Neji knew when his eyes closed, it was all an illusion.

But the only feeling that mattered was that she still lay beside him in the darkest hours. A warmth like no other when the cold latched onto him.

…

Hiashi grimly observed the scene before him.

Hinata was bent over his body, quietly sobbing. Kneeling from across her was Kou, helplessly looking on. The clan members who stood witness to his bravery gathered around them, a shield from curious onlookers.

"No," Hinata wept.

He was certain the mark had disappeared at the time of his death.

But it lay there accusingly, the sins of his ancestors marked on his nephew's forehead. It had manifested when they found him. It was a cursed mark, but for once it was relieving to see it again. He did not know if this was temporary, as when the dead was raised by a puppeteer, but Neji did not exhibit any other strange marks.

His brother might have glimpsed his son in the afterlife and Hiashi silently promised their next meet wouldn't be for a long time.

"He's alive," he told his daughter.

…

Everything about her overwhelmed him.

Her head was digging into the pillow, face contorted in a sort of daze, Neji couldn't tell because his eyes closed as soon as her hips grinded to meet his. His fists clenched the sheets and when she gasped his name, he pushed in harder, damning tenderness. In the back of his mind, Neji knew this was not meant to be. This was his pitiful fantasies that the gods rewarded him for his sacrifice and Neji didn't know what to think if this was his eternity.

He was losing himself.

Each time he woke up, a piece of him died at the sight of the same sun.

He was entrapped in these rooms. Hinata always sweetly called for him before he could venture further. He let himself be taken away because his death was a matter still raw to contemplate. His mind fogged once more. An imagined warmth touched his cheek and Neji gathered her body to his but she shoved him down. Neji fell back, astonished and definitely aroused, that this world went against his wishes.

By reflex, he trapped her hands. Maybe she would command him to wake. To release her from this plain and face the reality of his death so he could finally be at peace. But it wasn't any of that, not when Hinata laid a soft kiss to his stiff mouth. It was just another of his fantasies, kept hidden in his desires.

Who held the power here, Neji mused afterwards. She was curled by his side after wringing multiple orgasms Neji didn't think was possible.

This Hinata catered to his needs zealously, pushing where he was weak. He was allowed to be weak, Neji thought, suddenly furious. There was no longer someone to protect nor did anyone care for him as loving as this illusionary Hinata, and he'd accept it all for a measure of empty bliss.

She stirred when he nudged her in a position the real Hinata would not allow.

"Neji?" she questioned, reminiscent of a trembling virgin and Neji gritted his teeth.

His desires varied and the recurring theme was that Hinata always trusted him. Right now, he cursed this world for recreating her persona when all Neji wanted was vigorous, carnal sex that barred her memory.

It seemed to sense it and it was incredible how she received him despite his roughness. Neji could never forget it and he responded just as passionately, the words falling from his mouth would have made Hinata faint. When his eyes closed, Neji knew the world would restart itself once again to fit his mood.

* * *

The first time Neji woke, the world came back in a veiled curtain.

Which was strange because something was weighing him down. He tried to call for Hinata but when he took a breath, pain shot down his body. It was almost foreign for it was days without end that he felt it. He couldn't summon his voice with the crushing pain spreading everywhere. It fluctuated in random bursts, throbbing aches here and there, before spiking elsewhere and it was hard to breathe. It was a struggle to lift his eyelids and the light that consumed his vision pained him.

Noise ebbed in and out like static, but he could make out the syllables of his name said frantically.

"Ne…ji-niisan! Ne-!"

It could only be Hinata.

His title was attached to his name this time. He must be desperate to have her call out to him with the address that used to tear him apart. He tiredly tried to focus on her. It took a moment to find her face among the multitudes of her syncing and blurring in a ruined reality. He blinked slowly, fixing his gaze on her eyes.

"You're alive," she said shakily. He didn't register the wetness falling to land on his cheeks. "Neji-niisan, you're alive."

He stared. She was breathing, skin injured, and the standard uniform she wore was torn. She was saying his name in relief and more noises started to become clear. The rush of emergencies and a chant as chakra surged over the area. The illusions rushed back, reality punishing him for living past his death with every inhale of his lungs.

He jerked, panic and pain overriding his sanity.

She tried settling him, but he didn't want those hands on him. "Neji-niisan, calm down," she said soothingly, voice compressed. Wires tangled when he fought off her touch and Hinata feared the frantic sound of his heartbeat. "Neji-niisan, stop! It's me, Hinata!" she cried.

Medics came rushing in, shoving her away and as they injected him with fluids, his last sight was her struggle and tears crying out for him.

He dreamed of nothing, but Neji welcomed the darkness. He was not aware that his chakra was drained and a team continuously reflowed it back until his body could generate it naturally. Nor did he feel the pinpricks of needles invading his bloodstream or a stream of medication flooding in.

It was relatively uneventful when he woke again.

"You will recover fully," she explained shakily when he flexed his fingers. "It will take a while. But you will be able to fight again."

It was the least of his concerns. The war was not yet over and Neji only hoped Hiashi assigned someone creditable to take his place. She was talking again, but Neji tuned her out. It was difficult to face her after embracing her in the illusionary world. It wasn't withdrawals, but he still wrestled to contain the needs. He allowed himself to be selfish then, even now he merely wanted to twine their hands, but she was too far out of his reach, too real to touch.

Neji closed his eyes.

Days might have passed and someone stroking his face pulled him out of sleep. He groggily tried to lift his head and knowing he was defenseless, a sound came from his throat to alert the others. "It's okay," a gentle voice said. "You are safe." He drifted off again.

This time he envisioned Hinata as she was in his memories. They were young and ignorant, the days before his forehead was marked and she was condemned by her father. Light seeped between his lids and he managed to open his eyes. The white ceiling was all he saw. "Hinata," his voice grated.

She appeared, touching the sheets and leaned forward enough that her hair touched his fingers. "Hello," she greeted and he stared. The medication hazed his usual bottled expectations and so he thought even as he was bedridden, she was dependent on him as much as he was on her.

The next time he woke, Neji noticed a cut on her cheek. "You needn't worry," she assured him. His mouth was dry and Hinata brought a cup to his lips. There was something in it because the taste overpowered his senses, and the next time he woke up, Hiashi was by his bedside.

If he was fit for duty, he might have felt a mild rush of panic. But now he was uncaring for anything and only the fact he couldn't escape just made him slightly seize up.

"You were a fool."

The tightness around his throat eased.

"But you kept them safe. Thank you."

…

When he was lucid, she informed him of Sasuke Uchiha's return, that Obito Uchiha was gone, but the danger still remained in the form of a woman called Kaguya. There was darkness in his eyes that made her pause, but it disappeared the moment Neji noticed.

"They retreated–" But as Neji listened on, his attention shifted elsewhere. Hinata knew because he longer cared with the twitch of his fingers, signing his impatience. He was examining her intently and Hinata shifted in place. "Is something wrong?" she finally asked.

It was a while before he responded. Neji beckoned her to come closer with bandaged fingers. Hinata stepped forward, hands reaching to touch the bed. Neji briefly met her eyes before he reached to touch the area just below her collarbones. "The marks are not disappearing," he rasped.

"It constrained us all for a long time," she said, gripping the sheets tightly then relaxed when his eyes flickered down once. "I didn't notice it was still there." He didn't pull away yet, his fingertips lingering up to follow the lines. She swallowed and his hand fell. "It will heal eventually," she managed to say before the tension silenced him. His eyes ran down her figure, suspecting there were more and the inspection left her feeling warm.

"I suppose so," Neji said dully and pulled back part of his hospital robe to expose the thick red imprint wrapping around his shoulder. "It is miraculous we are still alive."

The sight of it made Hinata delicately wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You especially," her voice hitched. "I thought you would bleed out while it entrapped us." He didn't question her touch, instead his eyes were directed up at her and Hinata couldn't find the nerve to meet it. "I…I am glad you are still here." He returned her touch with a fleeting tangle of fingers in her hair that Hinata must have imagined. He shifted and Hinata drew back. He remained quiet, relieving her. She straightened and walked over to the tray. "What did you dream?" she asked.

"Happiness," he said, face turned.

Knowing not to ask more, Hinata poured a cup of tea. Neji craved freedom; perhaps he always wanted to attain it without the mark on his forehead. When she became Head, she was going to allow him as much freedom as he wanted for all he had done for her. But there was uneasiness in her, at the thought of Neji leaving her side. Then she remembered the illusion before the dark took her and thought that was impossible. "Do you–" She cleared her throat. "Are you still searching for freedom?"

"Of a kind," he murmured.

Her interest peaked. There was nothing she could do about their born status but she was certain Neji found a measure of freedom in the clan. They were equals. But the way he said it made her strangely curious. She glanced over and was surprised to see Neji watching her.

She needed to say something, to break whatever was in the air that made the world fade. "I hope you will find it."

He abruptly looked away. A stretch of silence, then, "And you, Hinata-sama?"

"I–" she began with a distance stare. The memory didn't disturb her but it was strange, because amid the confusion, she wasn't sure who it was. "I don't know."

"I see."

It felt as if she crossed a barrier that shouldn't have existed.

A strained silence fell over them. Neji could not face her and that was alright, because Hinata didn't have the courage either.

…

Neji had no strength to lift his arms. Even talking required concentration and tolerance of pain and he had none. Her visits shortened since he awakened and grateful for it, Neji was able to recuperate without haunting dreams of her. When she did visit, Hinata often spoke about new formations in their unit that he had no interest in. Her lips had his attention for some time and if he had enough strength, there was no doubt he'd kiss her.

He tested his arm and felt the sharp pain jabbing muscle. Even his own body was against him. The authorization for his release was slow and though he could now do basic exercises, the medics wanted a final run-through of tests which Neji was confident he could pass.

He was expecting a visit soon enough. "Hinata-sama."

"Yes?"

"You must leave."

He steeled himself against the hurt in her eyes. "Why?" she questioned, hurrying to his side. "You don't want me here?"

"You are needed in the battlefield, Hinata-sama," he answered instead. "I will remain here. You do not need to worry."

"But–"

"Hinata."

She fidgeted, pushing down the words. Then finally, she said, "I don't know when I will return."

It was difficult for him to say, "I will see you when you do."

When she reluctantly left, he was still staring out the window when Hiashi walked in a few hours later.

The Head stood imposingly by his side and Neji knew the monotony of his life returned. To lead a team to fight a wave of enemies, expected to win. To protect Hinata even as she wandered away whenever Naruto was mentioned. To survive each day, knowing his love would never be reciprocated in this lifetime. And the reminder of his duty when Hiashi asked, "Will you still join them?"

Neji nodded.

* * *

She searched for him after hearing of his return hours ago. He was severely weakened from the confrontation with Obito Uchiha and though he recovered, the possibility of wounds reopening frightened her. "Hinata-sama," he greeted with a soft look in his eyes. She checked for blood stains. "It is not mine," he told her.

"Let me check you," she still said.

"I'm not hurt." Then added before she could say anything, "I have a request."

His hand suddenly reached for her and it confused her, so she covered her palms around his in response. He jerked, eyes flickering down then up at her face. She snatched her hands away, reddening. "I'm sorry," she said in the silence as his hand lowered. "I thought you–"

"What?"

"Nothing," she hurriedly said. "You were saying?"

"Ah," Neji began. His hand flexed and it embarrassed her even more. "I want you to accompany me."

She struggled to not break away from his gaze even though she asked, "Where?"

"We will be delivering a missive to the units stationed to the west."

"Oh." He gave her a curious look and Hinata continued, "I thought we…were going with a team this time." She noticed they were paired more often now compared to the first year of the war. She had a feeling her father arranged for it and Neji would never admit to it either.

Something clouded over his face for a brief second. "Would you prefer that?"

"It's fine either way," she said.

A rousing feeling arose inside when he faintly smiled. She shifted. It begun to bother her and Hinata wished she could place the blame on his near death for the constant tugging in her heart. "Is something wrong, Hinata-sama?"

She tried not to lie, which is why she didn't respond as quickly as she wanted to. There was something wrong. She didn't know why there was a problem, couldn't exactly pinpoint what was wrong, but it had to do with a tangled mess of confusion concerning Neji. She didn't want to examine it now. "Uhm."

He became alerted. "What is it?"

"I don't know," she said truthfully. "I need to think about it."

Neji seldom offered words of comfort and this issue wasn't worth a thought. Instead, Neji surprisingly didn't mind using physical proximity to close the distance and comfort her, as they did during the night. The thought came out of nowhere and it was getting difficult to maintain composure in front of him. "Alright," he conceded. "I will see you tonight then."

She shivered, startling herself at his words. She was grateful when Neji turned to watch a strategist team enter the camp. She heard the implications now, even though Neji most likely did not realize it. Hinata shook her head. She was deluding herself before. She didn't recognize it because Naruto was her only love, but the turmoil remained the same except it was starting to tentatively stem towards Neji.

Hinata looked for her former team for escape. Kiba was nowhere in sight and Hinata resolved to keep company with a lonely Shino near the edges of the forest. She tried calling for his attention by touching his hand and jolted when he pulled back suddenly then realized with guilt that he was startled. "Hinata-sama?"

"Excuse me, Neji-niisan," she said. "I will prepare soon, but I want to speak with Shino first," Hinata explained.

She quickly went away, as if the space between them could erase the building tension.

…

A horrible course of action resulted in Hinata getting injured and Neji was forced to flee.

She kept diligent watch as they raced away. She could argue she could move on her own, that their combined weight made them an easier target, but the tight hold on her silenced it. His breathing was unsettled, not harsh and Hinata dreaded to find more wounds.

He suddenly set her down and pressed her to the tree with his body. Her hands immediately came up to touch his shoulders when his head bent down next to her. She waited and watched over his shoulder, breath held. A few seconds later and their pursuers passed in a flash.

Her heart pounded hard and she feared Neji could hear it. Or maybe he was feeling it too, Hinata realized, from the sound of his controlled breathing to calm from the rush. He shifted, hair tangling with hers, as Neji looked through the tree for their pursuers with the Byakugan. It was getting difficult to breathe without alerting him of how nervous she was. Even through layers of clothing, she flushed at the inevitable press of her chest.

She couldn't risk whispering his name and because he was taller, she could only move her lips near his jaw and mouthed, "_Safe?"_

He tensed. Then Neji shook his head once. "_East,"_ he mouthed by the skin of her ear and Hinata shivered.

Neji must have known because he adjusted the distance between them. The silence stretched and she was getting nervous.

"_Hinata_." She nearly jumped and his hands clinched. _"One."_

When his body moved to eliminate the remaining wary nin, Hinata grasped his arm. She signed on his hand_, "No. Will alert others if you do."_

For what reason, he pressed back closer and she managed to hold back a gasp. A minute later and the leaves a few meters away shuffled then it was quiet. She waited for confirmation.

His head lifted.

She froze. It felt too intimate, something lovers shared. Desire was not new to her, not when she had witnessed lovers engaged in trysts. But it was still an act foreign to her because no man had ever shown interest in her. But there was a leashed storminess that lurked in those white eyes near identical to hers and it moved something in her.

And what lover Neji had knew this familiarity. There was something telling that he was used to such proximity among others, but her presence completely eliminated the possibility of another woman. The thought made her anxious for some reason and she drew her hand back before he could feel her tight grip. He bore through it without a word. Only watched her with hooded eyes.

She remembered the first time she saw it in his eyes. It shook her. It was not meant for her, she had reasoned, because Neji only had her by him nearly every day. But there was no doubt this time and Hinata reddened. When he realized it, his gaze cooled in passivity. He stepped back. "Hinata-sama."

She pushed her hair back. If she said his name plainly without a title, Hinata wondered what foreign look will be in his eyes next. When she sneaked a glance, the Byakugan was alert and scanned their route miles ahead. Was it an illusion, Hinata mused, given how easily Neji dismissed these questionable moments. _Or maybe it was just her_, she revised, mortified.

Her hands lowered. "We need to regroup," she said instead.

He nodded. She could command him to do anything and he would do so without question. She could read it in his eyes. She hesitated. "Neji-niisan," she began. "I'd like to check for wounds."

He mulled it over. "After we return."

"Now," she insisted. "So you will not be in much pain." He assessed her carefully then inclined his head once. She wasn't alarmed, Hinata told herself, when he rolled up the long sleeve and a long gash sliced through his skin. "Were you going to tell me?" she inquired.

"Eventually." Which meant after danger, she translated. "Hinata-sama." She looked up. "We can do this later. But we must first secure our safety."

She reluctantly agreed.

…

He was awkwardly maneuvering the standard undershirt over his bandages when she found him.

She saw the scars on his back.

Neji tried covering it up, gut twisting, but she stopped him.

He felt her soft fingers trace the puckered skin. He suppressed a shudder, oddly unsettled. She didn't cry, but he felt her sorrow and grief all the same through the unsteady shake of her body. His hand founds hers as she embraced him and held their joined hands over his heart, to feel the beat of it, to know what he felt. She may not know now, but when the time was right, she would realize it.

No words could ever soothe her fears.

She was too anxious by his near death that she never realized Neji was just as devastated when her life was close to ending if he hadn't interfered. She was prepared to die for a good cause, for Naruto, and Neji only acted so that they would live. Only a part of his debt to Naruto was repaid. If Neji was brutally honest, had there been no debt, Hinata was his priority. If Naruto perished, then there was a chance to gain her love. But the cost of war was too high and he had a feeling she would follow the hero to death and Neji would follow after her.

He already died once for her. Such drastic declarations no longer surprised him. There was only one way to erase the feral urges arising in him. Except he couldn't leave Hinata. He felt heated, more so even by her cool skin and Neji gritted his teeth. She was sniffing and all he wanted to do was crush her against him. She'd accept it, he knew. These long years allowed them to grow closer. Now that he had a taste, he wasn't about to let another sweep her away.

He made sure his back was covered before he turned to her and did it anyway, and her small gasp did nothing to his conscience. At this point, it almost seemed like cruel foreplay, Neji thought dispassionately. She clung to him helplessly and she was still sniffing, nudging her head ever so slightly in comfort. Comforting him, Neji thought with amusement. If he brought her any closer, he could have felt the beat of her heart. Just then he damned her endowments, the very thing that made her stiff in his embrace. Instead she put her chin on his shoulder and he couldn't stop a voluntary shiver.

She quickly pulled back despite his best efforts. "I-" the apology died in her lips and whatever she deciphered from his face that he couldn't conceal in time, Neji ignored.

"It doesn't bother me," he said. "I cannot see it anyway."

"Do you…do you need something for it?"

Shame immediately overrode the wild savagery in him and he tried repressing it. "No." He let go and a dark satisfaction stole over him when she stumbled in surprise.

"I meant," she continued, "if you need an ointment when it hurts? For your skin to prevent infection?"

He was a complete mess to allow his insecurities to hurt her. "I was given something."

He didn't deserve the smile she gave him. "If you need anything, I can help," she offered.

He knew she could. She frequented the medical bay to help their clansmen and he used to watch from a distance. It was another moment when he marveled at her strength. Bruises covered her face and her chakra paced slower than usual, but she gave it all to heal others. Such dedication, Neji knew, was precious and he vowed to protect it.

* * *

They are older now. The war progressed halfway through the third year and everyone felt the end of it approaching.

They quietly celebrate her birthday.

He tossed wood into the fire. "Happy birthday, Hinata-sama."

She felt the change in the air. It was long months since his birthday passed. Now she felt as if she caught up to him somehow. The war hardened his features. He was no longer the teenage prodigy, but an accomplished man who did his job well. And very well he did, the carnage he left behind was impressive considering he reduced the use of the Byakugan and relied heavily on his honed senses.

A dry smile curved his lips. "What do you wish for?"

"Peace."

"And when it is obtained?"

She met his eyes and could only smile in response. Whatever Neji assumed, something crossed his eyes in recognition. He held her gaze a little longer before he nodded. Hinata bashfully ducked her head. "Do you still hate me?" she said to fill the silence.

He frowned. "No. I do not hate you. Not ever since."

The words hung curiously in the air. Hinata knew he never elaborated further; what he said was a truth she could only imagine and whatever implication she thought of only embarrassed her. Panicked, Hinata sought for a request that had been plaguing her. "When the war is over," she began tentatively because it always made Neji tense. "I-I need your support for my position in the clan," she rushed.

"You intend to inherit Hiashi-sama's place."

"Yes."

He appeared beside her and knelt, evening the level of their eyes. "You should know I will always stand by you," he said.

The weight lifted off her chest. "Thank you."

"Of course," he murmured.

"Uhm," she continued, the red in her face telling. "The Elders… I heard rumors about arranging for my marriage when father is ready to step down."

Neji stilled. "Marriage?"

There was an edge to his voice that faltered her next words. "I-It's not that I want it. I have a feeling," she mumbled, wringing her hands until a heavy hand stopped it, "that the Elders want to negotiate my hand in marriage so that–"

"Hanabi-sama will succeed." He sat back on his heels.

She nodded. Tension creased the unforgiving lines of his face and Hinata wished there was something he could say to ignite her hope. But he stayed quiet, and the long and pensive look he was giving her made her squirm. "I-I think he won't agree."

"Hiashi-sama," he said slowly, "is your father foremost. If what you suspect is true," his hand clinched over hers, "then he will listen to you."

His resolution calmed her panic. Neji would help her; he always did. "Thank you, Neji-niisan."

His eyes dropped down and as he stood, Hinata saw the wry smile on his lips before he turned away.

…

The implication of her birth role began to dawn on her as soon as the war ended. She wasn't naïve to the brazen looks thrown her way as she walked through camp and Hinata was reluctant to discuss it. It was never directed towards her before; Neji's presence completely prevented their advances, but even then Hinata felt unsure. Neji had to notice because his gaze lingered a little too long after she bathed, the silence between them heavy and she never knew what to say. But apparently Neji had no further interest because he was quick to dismiss it and there was a building uneasiness when another took his attention, rare as it was.

Hinata quietly stood to the side. She had a feeling she shouldn't witness this meeting, but Neji herded her here and blocked the way out.

Quick fire demands and shouts from the outside and Hinata wondered what she could have done to help. She fidgeted and slid him a look. It hadn't registered to her what they've discussed. His stance was unyielding and Hinata was resigned to wait. She came out of her thoughts when one corner of the tent slid open and Hinata curiously crouched. "Natsu?" she asked when the familiar face peeked in. "Did something happen to Hanabi?"

"Hanabi-sama is safe, Hinata-sama," the caretaker assured with a smile. "Hiashi-sama wishes for you to be stationed closer."

Neji gave them a quick glance. "I cannot abandon my unit," she told her. "There's much to be done."

After some more urging, Natsu left and Hinata was relieved to see her well. Neji finished his discussion and when they left the tents' cover, Hinata wondered what Neji thought of her appeal to other men. There was a male nin from Konoha that tried pursuing her and when Neji caught wind of it, suffice to say, he no longer had an interest. "Did you do anything to him?" she asked nervously.

He coolly returned her stare. "Of course not, Hinata-sama."

Attractive, physical qualities claimed the male psyche, Hinata quickly learned. Her beauty was not remarkable though her body was embarrassingly so. The only consolation that came after her birthday was the access to the loosely structured law that every nin had to abide despite the war. When the army successfully reclaimed territory, drinks and food flooded the camps. Neji drank and no matter how many Hinata counted, he was unfazed. "None for you, Hinata-sama," he said, plucking it out of her hands and someone else grabbed it from him.

"I can now," she said firmly.

He paused and stared at her so intently she ducked her head. "Yes, you can," he said slowly, drawing out the words.

"S-So I can drink," she mumbled, shuffling her hand for one.

He silently handed the one he held, shadows in his eyes. Heat rose to her face and she tried not to imagine where he had placed his mouth on the cup. It tasted bitter and Hinata grimaced. She let it sit in her mouth and it burned when it slithered down her throat. It was an acquired taste, the Hokage had once said. She took another swig and the world swayed. "That's enough," Neji demanded and it was pried from her hands.

"I only took a sip," she protested.

"You didn't like it."

"I swallowed it," she pointed out and coughed when the burn itched lower.

He mumbled something Hinata didn't hear and his eyes closed for several seconds. "No," he said and Hinata relented, only because she was beginning to contemplate how to unbalance him completely.

"What was in it?" she asked nervously.

"A strong drink," was all he said and passed it on to another intoxicated nin.

"How come you aren't…?"

"You will know when I am," he said, staring at her. It was the alcohol, Hinata reasoned, that she was feeling strange. "But I won't allow myself to. We have a war to win, Hinata-sama."

"Yes, of course."

They lounged further away from the center of camp, where the rowdiest were falling over and brawling. Though her eyes were heavy-lidded, there was too much noise. She mentioned it to Ino, who tried slipping her an innocent looking cup, but Neji snatched it with a dark look and Hinata didn't dare protest.

* * *

The warring stirrings Neji wrestled for three long years no longer mustered as much in random intervals.

He was quite content, his wishes nearly fulfilled just from her presence. He supposed he was a simple man and there was an occasional night where his desires manifested, except this time he allowed a moment of tenderness at her consent.

That didn't mean he was entirely pure from sin.

It frustrated him to no end that she already witnessed it. He considered wringing their necks for showing her first demonstration of sex. He shifted uncomfortably. Knowing their lives could end the next day, Neji could not blame them. Hinata deserved more than the hard ground and rough tree barks if she ever felt inclined to explore her sexual curiosity.

He already considered all the possibilities. His status was forever a Branch member and it would only shame her if she did come to him. He could never face her the next day if it was done at the compound. He was also certain he'd kill whoever took her virginity. He threw down his weapons in disgust. The only hope was to capture her attention.

There were still nights when he entertained the thought of Hinata loving him those ever trusting eyes. She made it difficult these long weeks to retain his usual indifference. Maybe he had been too welcoming and she responded in kind, in a way he did not expect. There was no way Hinata was not aware of the implications of what they did. They were no longer bumbling youths ignorant of the world.

There were other nights when he woke in a cold sweat. The severing puncture of spikes through his body. The shadows of nin he killed chasing Hinata. The reminder of death's hold on him. He was getting used to her unreserved closeness when they slept before. Now it was completely out of sorts the closer his final mission loomed. Too weary of everything and even Hinata couldn't grant him peace.

He woke one night, kunai in hand and was prepared plunge it when he sensed someone close. It fell to the ground once he registered it was her.

His hands scrubbed down his face tiredly.

_Hinata_.

It was her beside him. A mantra he needed to remember nowadays.

He traced the bottom of her lip to console himself. _It would be easy,_ Neji thought.

In the illusionary world, she was once naked beneath him. His memories flashed back to his hands drifting down her body. He wanted her mouth on his, to drag her hips maddeningly over his until climax shattered them both. It was strangely realistic how everything felt authentic in that dreamscape plain. His memory recreated her dimensions perfectly and was as real as she felt. He was going to receive divine punishment, Neji swore, for allowing such thoughts.

It couldn't be stopped either way; circumstances forced them in close proximity. She was always in a daze then, maybe a little uncertain, but all Neji did was step away and present her with an escape. And Hinata always took it because there was no other way. The possibility of her running away after seeing how much he desired her stayed him from ever revealing it.

"Hinata-sama" he'd say.

"Neji-niisan," she'd reply.

She always reddened easily, but it was troubling to read her in those moments. It helped that it took her a while to respond because he also needed to find clarity. He now suspected Hinata had an inkling of his desires, yet she remained as she was to him. It put a strain in their arrangements and the impending separation after the war doused him greatly.

As much as he wished for the nights, they couldn't continue on like this any longer.

…

They were separated for a week.

And when they finally shared the night together, it was spent in separate places.

Hinata shivered in the night. Neji forced himself to endure.

…

When the army gathered, she no longer focused on the blond hero proclaiming his resolve. Instead, she searched for a dark figure with hard white eyes.

"Naruto is in the camp," Kiba told her. "You want to go?"

"No, I need to tend to the wounded," Hinata said.

She was only mildly surprised when Kiba leaned forward and sniffed. "You'd better check yourself first before looking for others."

"I'm fine."

"Neji's somewhere here, he'll patch you up."

She was mildly jealous of his superior senses to find him easily. "I don't need it."

"I bet Neji will say otherwise."

"He's–" Hinata stopped. She hadn't seen him since their return. She bade them a short farewell and headed for the numerous tents mounted for each division.

A few peeks in the first tents proved useless. Thankful for it, Hinata contemplated on how to speak with him. More aloof then she was used to, Neji surprised her one night. He was more distant than usual and it made her fret, because Hinata thought they've grown closer. She found him one night when he returned from a solo mission. He was packing supplies in a knapsack and she nervously asked, "Are you staying tonight?"

And he had said, "No."

He resided close by and she didn't have the nerve to question him. He was too polite to reject her outright. So Hinata made do though she couldn't stop thinking about him. It was foolish to consider the uneasiness in her when it came to Neji. She pondered for days and Hinata didn't come closer to finding an answer.

A limp slowed her walk and she reached for the covers of one tent when it burst out and a woman hastily came out, red lips set in frown. Their eyes briefly met before she headed towards the supply crates, hair messily tied and glasses askew. The ground crunched at her feet. She faltered, unsure on what to anticipate. His bare back, riddled with scars, was to her when she entered. She didn't know what to think and the man in front of her suddenly felt like a stranger.

The distance crept in and she couldn't silence the noise in her throat in time. "Hinata-sama?" he asked. A large bandage was by his shoulder. He held up gauze. "Do you need assistance?"

She tried piecing it together. "No, thank you."

The defined muscles on his forearms held her attention. It was too expected that nins were fit, but it was always hidden by long sleeves, and it surprised her that she nearly forgot Neji was just as fit too. But it was a lie if she thought she hadn't noticed. How could she have forgotten on a moonlit night, after she disposed of an assassin and he rushed to her, barely clothed.

She covered her face.

He was on his feet and faltered before his hands gently pried her arms apart. "What's wrong, Hinata?" She didn't even notice the address he used because her cheeks reddened at the rigid muscles lining his abdomen. Hinata looked to the side. He noticed and stepped back, going to gather his uniform. "My apologies," he said swiftly.

Hinata hesitated. "No, I'm sorry. I should have come in later…"

The silence stretched. Neji searched her face. "She is Shikamaru's subordinate who needed my report," he finally said.

Her fingers touched nervously. "That is…I didn't mean–"

He pulled on a shirt, muscles flexing hard. "Of course you didn't," was his flat parting words before he departed.

…

The cold water was welcomed to his heated skin.

Hinata was just there, but he could no longer answer her. The first time he turned her away, she couldn't look at him. It was what Neji wanted, but it still wounded him. Hinata truly had no investments in their time together. She tried trailing him one time and he couldn't face the hurt in her eyes when he told another excuse and she didn't ask about it anymore. It was a thousand times worst inflicted on him than his near death. Eventually she would stop caring, he thought bitterly.

Naruto was in the area, surrounded by counsels and though they also called him, he couldn't leave not knowing how her recovery went. Just as well. He could excuse his stalking tendencies on the fact that Naruto needed him here, just as she was seeking Naruto. When death chased him, he was convinced he wouldn't allow anything to stand between them. But like a coward he turned tail and abandoned her before the end.

He was hurting too. Then she had come in, looking for him. One look at her face and he knew her confusion was misplaced.

For a split second he hoped the interest on her end was mutual to his. So he told her, "She is Shikamaru's subordinate who needed my report." When she stuttered something else, the hope died in him and it was another reason to stifle his love. He stormed out with enough dignity to not rouse her suspicion and thank the gods she didn't call him back or he'd have swallowed his pride and reluctantly, though very much willing, return to her side. Relief was a balm to his soul when she didn't follow him.

Kiba shouted at him, "Hey, Hinata was looking for you!"

"She found me," he bit out.

Kiba muttered something bad and trudged the other way.

Though Neji knew he was acting selfishly, he needed to settle things between them before the last charge.

The sun was setting and his heart pounded hard when they found each other.

The words were stuck in his throat. Hinata was searching his face and afraid of what she might find, Neji tentatively closed a hand on her shoulder. There was surprisingly no resistance and before regret consumed him, Neji looked for any more signs. Apparently it took too long when Hinata embraced him loosely.

A truce.

…

Two weeks before supplies were exhausted, the war was nearing its end. Towards it, there were revelations.

She didn't need to ask for his closeness before. He would oblige anyway. There was comfort and there was restlessness. It felt unfulfilled because Neji couldn't reciprocate it. So Hinata chose to not say anything when he distanced himself.

Her affection for Naruto had dwindled. His muscles locked tight whenever she went to him. He understood her well enough to know she needed his reassurance. Like a drug, it was a brief respite but in the end, the ache in his heart grew heavier. So Neji kept away and hoped she could find the strength to adjust once more.

Not unlike when she was resuscitated, a choke gripped her throat when they returned, fewer than ever, and she was alone. Medics attended to her and she healed, but it didn't disappear. She could finally breathe again when she saw him in the camp, standing tall and alive.

His heart eased when she was among the nins. He kept her in his line of sight and discreetly moved to follow when she was ushered away. Though his duty was to the clan, to serve only her, and the war, he wouldn't survive if she fell before him.

…

He was resting by a tree, lines of exhaustion marring his face.

She finally found him alone, away from the pace of battle and rushed gatherings. He was reluctant to stay beside her when they were alone and Hinata was determined to find out why. She couldn't deny she missed him every night and it wasn't because of the nightmares anymore.

A twig snapped by her feet and Hinata flinched. Neji opened his eyes and met hers with an unreadable look. She hesitated. Though she had just disturbed him, there was a look in his eyes that told her he was waiting for something. Too afraid to speak, Hinata approached closer. She lowered herself in front of him, legs folding gracefully.

She immediately regretted it. There was no room for him to move away and Hinata was about to rise to do so when Neji stopped her.

It surprised her when he suddenly pulled her in an embrace.

She whispered his name.

"I am here, Hinata."

There was something masked in his voice that made Hinata uneasy.

His heartbeat was steady. His arms were strong to keep her in place. It was all Hinata registered before relaxing, fitting into his space. There was no longer any doubt. In that illusionary world, it was Neji who she dreamed of. Hinata could only think it was because of her strong belief that Neji would never leave her. Those nights from the past three years, there was always a lingering thought at the back of her mind, of Neji's response to their sleeping arrangements.

Maybe she imagined a phantom's touch ghosting her hair, a fleeting tangle of fingers, and a jolt of shock at the contact. But when she woke, she had to wonder if it was a dream, seeing Neji's strong back. It made her nervous, that if Neji withdrew from her because of her nightly habits that began accidentally, then she didn't know how to face him. But after a few nights, he never questioned her. It shamed her to bring it up, so not one word was said in the morning. Then it began routinely and it was something she relied on after the heavy toll of war. One look at him and something in her calmed in the midst of chaos. Now, she was lost.

"You've been with me for so long, Neji-niisan," she murmured. "Thank you."

She still remembered that night. When she saw his scars, tears clouded her eyes. His hand guided hers to the steady beat of his heart, to assure her that he still lived. But now Hinata wondered if Neji perceived her more than a responsibility, more than a teammate, and more than just familial bond.

It was clear to Hinata how exhausted he was. But Neji never asked for her to leave all those times, and it made her wonder how deep Neji's tolerance was of her that he allowed her to stay in a lover's proximity without question.

The next time, Hinata told herself, she would find a way to ask him, and fell into sleep's embrace.

…

A nin alerted him it was time to leave with a distinct whistle.

He glanced towards the row of trees where the nin emerged, signing urgently. Neji nodded. In his arms, the weight of her body was nothing compared to the chains he felt wrapped around his heart. It was time to say goodbye. More noises, forcing him to leave fast. Hinata stirred. Neji flicked a glance to the nin, who promptly disappeared after one last signal.

He stared at the mass of indigo hair draped over him and below was the face of his charge, soft in sleep. He wouldn't wake her. Neji could only imagine her protest and for her to join in the last battle was out of the question. He lingered, engraving her face and touch to memory. He didn't know how their time spent in moments like this would change after the war. Even in the comforts of the village walls and security of the compound, would Hinata still seek him in the midnight hour, Neji mused.

He managed to push her away the last few weeks. She learned how to cope with his disappearance. It was also training him to handle the vast emptiness when they returned to normal life in Konoha.

If he managed to survive. The thought sobered him.

He allowed himself one last stroke of her hair, reining back other dark urges. If he were to die the next coming days, then he would be content because he knew how soft her hair was, how warm her body truly was, even if it was unspoken that she allowed for his touch as she did to him. But he still wouldn't give in because it was her trust in him that he'd betray, because he'd fully take advantage of her kindness, because he thought more of her than Hinata ever assumed.

Another purposeful crunch of gravel.

Neji didn't need to look to see it was another Hyuuga to secure her. Neji briefly wondered if the sight of Hinata in his arms would raise any suspicions on her end. His faithfulness to her was known, only because it was to be expected and no one dared thought it would be reciprocated. The clan dismissed the case of Naruto Uzumaki; they knew his importance of the war, and if it motivated their heiress in the war then they would allow it, because they knew it would motivate Neji in return, who'd go to hell and back to fulfill her wishes.

The Elders thought they were the puppeteers, Neji darkly reflected, to use Hinata as a pawn, who thought freedom was granted to her in the midst of the war, and if they thought he was another puppet through Hinata, they were wrong. He only served Hinata and if he had to manipulate her away from their control, Neji would.

A nin emerged from the trees.

A sort of heaviness dropped on his body. He sat up a little straighter, careful to not disturb her. His hands hovered over her skin. He had a feeling the parting would be much harder for him. He looked to the clansman, who knelt and carefully gathered her until Neji slipped away. He stretched, loosening his body for the long, long, battle, and checked his equipment.

His sight saw the unit in preparation from afar, the Byakugan an instinctual habit from the years of war. Only a dozen or so made up the team that would support Naruto. Indeed, it was a suicide mission. The veins mellowed by his face and he took a moment as the world returned to the sight of colors and faces after the darkness faded. It was longer now and Neji accepted his inevitable blindness during the battle. He took one last look at Hinata. He still didn't know what it was supposed to mean, her need for his closeness and a despairingly hopeful part of him wished for her love but he shoved it away.

Neji left.

When the war was over, if it ever ended, and he managed to survive from this, Neji only wished to the gods that Hinata would look for him first and not Naruto in the ruins of the battlefield for his body, dead or alive.

…

Hinata knew something was wrong when no warmth shielded her from the cold air. She sat up, looking for the familiar figure of Neji but found someone else. "Kou?" she questioned and the nin looked to her. "What are you doing here?"

"Hiashi-sama assigned me for your protection."

Her brows furrowed. "Where's Neji-niisan?" she asked quietly.

The silence lengthened. "I am sorry, Hinata-sama."

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked, an edge to her voice that made Kou stiffen. "I want to see Neji-niisan."

"He is gone."

"Where–"

"The war will end soon, Hinata-sama. Believe in him."

It wasn't the answer she commanded of him. She quickly stood, a horrible feeling settling in her. "Where is he?"

Kou hesitated. "He is in the front lines of battle with Naruto. It is our only chance left."

She gripped his vest. "Where is the unit stationed at?"

"Even if I tell you, they are too far away to intervene. Their mission is to support Naruto to end the war."

"Why wasn't I informed?"

"It is confidential."

He left her again. She didn't find him the next day. In three days, intel informed them Naruto advanced further and they had lost more nins. The witnesses declined to give names.

In a week, they felt the tremors of the earth and the battlefield was littered with too many bodies, among it were the few nins assigned to Naruto's protection. The Alliance prevented anyone from retrieving the bodies until Naruto stood victorious.

Sleep never came easy and Hinata waited for the sunrise each day as everyone kept watch.

"Kakashi and Sakura have withdrawn from battle!" and only a few hours later, "Naruto did it!" the words proclaimed over the land.

Naruto was alive. They won. The golden hero emerged, Sakura and Kakashi supporting him by the shoulders. He grinned widely and shouted their victory to the sky, "We won!" before collapsing.

The medic nins immediately acted.

Hinata rushed towards the scene, scouring with the Byakugan for any pulse left. She pushed a familiar body, frantically turning him over. Blood stained everywhere, matting his long hair to battered skin. She cried his name and searched for a heartbeat.

Finally, his eyes slowly opened. She bent over him. "Hinata," he rasped.

His white gaze was always focused on her and Hinata now knew she didn't want them to ever look away.

* * *

**FIN**

_Aaaand Canvas in White begins a few months after this in which I decided that they had enough tension so I just let them work it out. Their before, their present, their future in one trilogy. Wow. Thank you to the readers for sticking with me in every fic I've written for this pairing. You guys are the best. _


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